By: Dr. Erica Wollerman
Learning to own our mistakes and be held accountable for them has to be one of the most difficult and painful lessons in life. I also believe that it is one of the most important lessons, particularly for our children and teens. Often, accountability and honesty in light of mistakes and failure is a goal for parents for their children. However, we need to first model this behavior and make it a goal for us as parents. We need to recognize that we are going to screw up as parents, most likely frequently! And that when we screw up, it probably is going to hurt… We love our little ones more than anything but on a bad day, we yell at them or we say something we shouldn’t or we give them bad advice that well, goes badly for them. I could go on and on about the possible ways we are going to screw up. Newsflash parents, we aren’t perfect and we aren’t supposed to be!
Do we want to be perfect parents, yes. Of course we do! Interestingly though, that would be entirely counterproductive for our kids and teens to learn about failure, mistakes, repairing relationships, and coping with our own humanity.
So, when we fail, I encourage you to use it as a learning opportunity for yourself and for your kids. Own it. Acknowledge that you screwed up. And figure out how to fix it. Apologize, listen to your kid or teens side and experience, and let them know you recognize that you screwed up and will try to do better.
Imagine if we lived in a world where we were all a bit more skilled at this. It would be amazing and we can be the change that leads to that world. I believe we can do it!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.
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"Watch your thoughts,
They become words.
Watch your words,
They become actions.
Watch your actions,
They become habits.
Watch your habits,
They become character;
It becomes your destiny."