Navigating Amusement Parks with Tricky Kids

By: Dr. Erica Wollerman

Wait, we need a whole blog about how to have fun at Disneyland???? 

I know, I know. What has parenting come to? If our kids can’t just have fun at the happiest place on earth, what are we doing wrong!!!

While this is a bit exaggerated, I would honestly say it is not exaggerated in terms of what most parents think when their child is having an epic meltdown when their super expensive, carefully planned, and completely kid-centered holiday is not going well. And believe me, I get it!  My family has not yet gone to Disneyland for this exact reason. In my eyes, if we struggle at SeaWorld San Diego and Legoland, we are likely not quite ready for Disneyland!  

In preparation for the summer and all the exciting plans families have set up, I thought it would help to share some ideas about how to help tricky kids manage their feelings during these long days at amusement parks. While my personal and professional experience sets me up to expect certain kids to struggle in these situations, I have found that often parents do not expect it and, as a result, are often caught off guard with just their instant reactions of “How spoiled are you!” when these situations go off the rails. 

Even for me, this has been challenging. Recently, we let our son (age 5.5) play a video game at SeaWorld, which we thought would be a real treat because we have not yet let him really get into video or arcade games in our home. However, when it was sadly and unexpectedly (for him) short-lived, he could not regulate for about an hour. This involved lots of tears, attempted running away from us, bargaining to try and get more time to play, and honestly, pretty much sheer misery for all of us. And while it kind of proved our point that he is not quite emotionally ready for video games, it was tough to manage our reactions and approach him with empathy. I had to keep reminding myself that this is how our son learns - it, unfortunately, often involves a lot of frustration and trying to get out of the lesson in one way or another. In this one, he was learning regret as he felt he spent his money too quickly, and it was not worth it in the end. While this is such a valuable lesson, I would have loved it if he could learn it more quietly and kindly without such a scene! 

So, this led me to think that perhaps we should all be better prepared for challenges in these situations!  Here are my quick tips to help keep in mind so that big days with your child(ren) might go a bit smoother! 

Going into the big day: 

• Pack snacks and water
• Bring a stroller if your child gets easily tired and might need a break/rest
• Prep yourself in terms of your mindset. Keep in mind that this is a big, overwhelming, overstimulating situation, and kids respond in all different ways. Your child might love it and not want to leave, but they also might want to leave in five minutes. Try to have a plan and way to reset things if the day gets tough.

During the big day: 

• Try to allow your child to enjoy the scenery a bit. Some parents get very caught up in doing “all the things” just like they were kids!  Especially in places that truly have fun stuff for all of us. Try to let your child make choices and not rush them through the small things they enjoy and notice. 
• Make sure to take a lot of breaks. Taking breaks from lines, crowds, and moving to the next thing can be difficult as it is all so exciting, but it can help the day go more smoothly for everyone. 
• If you have a hotel in the area and a tricky kid who gets overwhelmed, try to plan a swim or room break to help them re-charge and regulate better. This has been a game changer for families that have longer vacations planned. If you can take the pressure off the day and squeezing everything in, it is usually more enjoyable for everyone. 
• Try to manage your own expectations and emotions! Keep in mind that just because your child might be having a hard time, it is not because they are spoiled, ungrateful, or a terrible kid. It is because they are likely hungry, tired, overwhelmed, hot, thirsty, distracted, too excited, overstimulated, etc. Keep a mantra in your head like, “They are doing the best they can.” 
• Keep in mind that kids do not like to have public meltdowns either!  They are just as embarrassed and upset as you are. Try to find a calm place if your kid is struggling emotionally and take some time to sit, relax, and give them a break so that they can regulate and re-engage. For us, on our super fun SeaWorld trip, after we gave our son some time to have a snack, sit down, and breathe, he was able to re-engage and ride rides he had always been too scared to do!  So, try not to be too dramatic in your reaction, and don’t threaten to leave if you don’t mean it. 

After the big day: 

• Regroup. Adjust future plans as needed with what you have learned and try to focus on both what went well and what were areas of challenge. 
• Make sure to tell your child that you love them no matter what. Even if some moments are hard, we want them to know that they do not lose their connection with us as a result. 
• Repair with them if you feel you didn’t handle the situation well. For example, if you were also tired and overwhelmed and shouted at them when they were struggling, take responsibility for that. Let them know you were overwhelmed and tired and wrong to act that way. Apologize and let them know you will work on it. It is crucial not to expect them to apologize as well, but this sets a great example for them of how to take ownership and apologize with authenticity in the future. 

Keep in mind that you and your child are always doing the best you can in the situation you are in with the skills you have. Try to avoid blaming or shaming them if something is not going well or if you feel they are not acting the way you would like. Their behavior is communication, and it is important to see it as such, especially in hard and new situations! 

If you would like more parenting advice and suggestions, please sign up for our newsletter below, as we have EXCITING NEWS coming up at Thrive!

At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and telehealth via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.