Child, Teen and Adult Psychotherapy Services in San Diego
  • Welcome
  • About Thrive
    • Meet the Thrive Team >
      • Dr. Erica Wollerman
      • Dr. Maria Fowlks
      • Jennifer Gonzalez, LMFT
      • Ying-Ying Shiue, LPCC
      • Kim Macias, APCC
      • Dr. Andrea Seldomridge
      • Molly Llamas, AMFT
      • Abbey Stewart, AMFT
    • Appointment Information
  • Contact
  • Services
    • Group Therapy at Thrive >
      • Anxiety Group For Teens
      • Parent Support Group
      • Middle School Social-Emotional Processing Group
      • Young Adults Group (18-24)
    • Therapy for Children
    • Therapy for Teens and Young Adults
    • Therapy for Adults
    • Family Therapy
    • Parent Consultation
  • Resources
    • Information About Therapy
    • Academic Resources
    • San Diego Resources
    • Covid-19 Resources
    • Anti-Racism Resources
    • Recommended Reading
    • Resources for Specific Challenges >
      • Addiction and Recovery Information
      • ADHD
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism/Developmental Disorders
      • Child Abuse and Domestic Violence
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders/Body Image Issues
      • Personal Growth/Managing Perfectionism
      • LGBTQIA
      • Parenting
      • Relationships
      • Stress Management/Mindfulness
      • Teen Issues
  • Blog
Picture

How Parents Can Help Kids Learn From Mistakes

3/23/2022

 
Picture

By: Dr. Andrea Seldomridge

So your child made a mistake. Now what do you do? You may have seen it coming or maybe it was unexpected. Maybe their mistake will affect others. Your child might feel defeated, hopeless, frustrated, or angry. As adults, we know that there is always something one can learn from a mistake, but how can we help kids learn from theirs? Luckily, there are often several teaching moments parents can incorporate in these scenarios.

  1. Allow time for a child to calm before talking about the mistake. This can be one of the most helpful places to start. It is hard to take in information or think something through when emotions are high. Allowing kids time for their emotions to settle will likely make the conversation more effective. Saying something like “would you like to take space for a bit?” can communicate that you understand they might not be ready to talk. This decreases the pressure to share their thoughts, concerns, or letdowns until they are ready. Using the phrase “taking space” can also be used whenever emotions are high. It also allows a child (or us adults) time to reduce the chances of saying something we might later wish we hadn’t.
  2. Praise their ability to admit they made a mistake. It is hard to own it! Working to ensure your response does not shame them can be huge because it increases the likelihood that they will share future mistakes. You can try saying “I’m proud of you for sharing you” or “I’m glad you could share this, it shows a lot of bravery”.
  3. Help them reflect on what they learned. This demonstrates that even with disappointment or frustration, there is always a take away from a mistake. You can help them identify one thing they have learned that will help them the next time they are confronted with a similar challenge then you can talk about how they’re feeling. Depending on their ability to identify their own emotions, you can try reflecting “I can see how disappointed/sad/angry you are right now”. 
  4. Use this moment of humility to help them learn to be compassionate with their peers when peers make mistakes. You can first help your child recognize how they would like to be treated when they make a mistake. Then, you can help them think about how their classmates or teammates would like to be treated when making mistakes. This allows your child to learn the importance of showing kindness to classmates or teammates when they make mistakes. Helping them recognize that as your child wants to be supported and not judged, your child can learn to show this same compassion to peers.
  5. If they hurt someone, plan on how to apologize. You can help them learn how to make amends by learning how to apologize well. This can consist of admitting the mistake you made, sharing that you are sorry, stating you want to ensure this does not happen again, and asking for forgiveness. I would also add on helping them learn to let it go after they are forgiven.
  6. Practice, practice. If their mistake is something they are able to practice, then help them practice it. Saying “okay, you made a mistake here, so let’s practice more to help it not happen again!” can be a positive reframe.
  7. Model learning from mistakes. How do you respond to your own mistakes? Are you forgiving of yourself, or do you tend to talk down to yourself? Increasing your awareness of how you respond to your own mistakes will help children learn how to respond to theirs.

While making mistakes is rarely enjoyable, there are so many things we can learn from them! Helping children notice the opportunities, rather than them only seeing their disappointments or frustrations, can increase their hope for future outcomes.

At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

Comments are closed.

    Blogs from the Thrive Family!

    Musings from Erica, Jennifer, Maria, Kim, Andrea, Molly, Abbey, and Ying-Ying

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    ADHD
    Alexina Clarke
    Andrea Seldomridge
    Angela Bianco
    Anoushey Nazir Khan
    Anxiety
    Attachment
    Autism
    Behavioral Challenges
    Communication
    Copin
    Coping
    Coronavirus
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Depression
    Divorce
    Early Childhood
    Emotional Expression
    Erica Wollerman
    Family
    Gratitude
    Group Therapy
    Holidays
    Intention
    Jennifer Gonzalez
    Lauren Spinelli
    Managing Stress
    Maria Fowlks
    Mindfulness
    Motivation
    New Mother
    Panicha McGuire
    Parenting
    Parenting Teens
    Perfectionism
    Play Therapy
    Resilience
    Self Esteem
    Teens
    Telehealth
    Therapy At Thrive
    Thrive Team
    Ying Ying Shiue
    Ying-Ying Shiue
    Young Adult

    Archives

    August 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    October 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2015
    October 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

    RSS Feed

Picture

Call Today!  858-342-1304

Thrive Therapy Studio
5230 Carroll Canyon Rd. Ste 110
​San Diego, CA 92121
"Watch your thoughts, 
They become words. 
Watch your words, 
They become actions. 
Watch your actions, 
They become habits. 
Watch your habits, 
They become character; 

It becomes your destiny."

Contact Us


Thrive Therapy Studio Therapists Offer Child, Teen, Adult, Marriage and Family Psychotherapy Counseling Services in San Diego, California.
Thrive's Notice of Privacy Practices 

Picture
  • Welcome
  • About Thrive
    • Meet the Thrive Team >
      • Dr. Erica Wollerman
      • Dr. Maria Fowlks
      • Jennifer Gonzalez, LMFT
      • Ying-Ying Shiue, LPCC
      • Kim Macias, APCC
      • Dr. Andrea Seldomridge
      • Molly Llamas, AMFT
      • Abbey Stewart, AMFT
    • Appointment Information
  • Contact
  • Services
    • Group Therapy at Thrive >
      • Anxiety Group For Teens
      • Parent Support Group
      • Middle School Social-Emotional Processing Group
      • Young Adults Group (18-24)
    • Therapy for Children
    • Therapy for Teens and Young Adults
    • Therapy for Adults
    • Family Therapy
    • Parent Consultation
  • Resources
    • Information About Therapy
    • Academic Resources
    • San Diego Resources
    • Covid-19 Resources
    • Anti-Racism Resources
    • Recommended Reading
    • Resources for Specific Challenges >
      • Addiction and Recovery Information
      • ADHD
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism/Developmental Disorders
      • Child Abuse and Domestic Violence
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders/Body Image Issues
      • Personal Growth/Managing Perfectionism
      • LGBTQIA
      • Parenting
      • Relationships
      • Stress Management/Mindfulness
      • Teen Issues
  • Blog