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By: Dr. Erica Wollerman
Since I talk often in my work about children and their big emotions, I wanted to share some tips and ideas to help you keep your cool while your child is losing theirs!
Before we dive into the how-to's of staying calm, it's essential to recognize that your child's emotional turmoil can stir up a whirlwind of emotions within you. It's normal to feel a range of things, from empathy and concern to frustration and helplessness. Understanding these feelings and their sources is the first step toward managing them effectively. The Importance of Staying Calm Staying calm in the face of your child's upset is crucial for several reasons: 1. Role Modeling: Your child learns how to handle emotions by watching you. Staying calm teaches them that emotions are manageable and can be expressed in a healthy way. 2. Effective Communication: A calm demeanor fosters open and constructive communication. It allows your child to express themselves without fear of judgment. 3. Problem Solving: Being calm enables you to think more clearly and find solutions to the issues at hand. Tips for Staying Calm 1. Breathe: When you feel your frustration or anxiety building, take a moment to breathe deeply. Inhale for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four. This simple exercise can help you regain your composure. 2. Pause and Reflect: Before reacting to your child's upset, take a brief pause. Ask yourself what's triggering your emotions. This self-awareness can help you respond more thoughtfully. 3. Empathize: Put yourself in your child's shoes. Try to understand what they're feeling and why. Empathy can help you respond with compassion. 4. Stay Mindful: Mindfulness techniques can be incredibly helpful in staying calm. Techniques like meditation and grounding exercises can keep you in the present moment and reduce stress. 5. Set Boundaries: It's okay to set boundaries with your child, even when they're upset. Calmly let them know what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. 6. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to other parents, friends, or a therapist when you're feeling overwhelmed. Talking to someone who understands can provide you with valuable guidance and emotional support. 7. Fill your cup: Don't forget to take care of yourself. A well-rested, emotionally balanced parent is better equipped to handle their child's emotional ups and downs. 8. Learn from Mistakes: Nobody's perfect. If you lose your cool occasionally, it's okay. Use those moments as learning opportunities for yourself and your child by discussing how you can handle things differently next time. Staying calm when your child is upset is a challenging but essential aspect of parenting. It sets the stage for your child to learn emotional regulation and healthy communication. Remember that it's normal to feel a whirlwind of emotions yourself, but by practicing deep breathing, empathy, mindfulness, and self-care, you can be a steady anchor for your child during their emotional storms. Stay calm, and you'll not only navigate these challenging moments more gracefully but also strengthen the bond with your child, showing them that they can always count on your support and understanding.
If you are interested in learning more about connecting with your child or setting boundaries please make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Dr. Wollerman has launched mini parenting coursesl! You do not want to miss them!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and telehealth via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
Our final therapist post is about Jennifer Gonzalez, LMFT 98444 who has been working with Thrive for almost 7 years! Jennifer is incredibly passionate about working with teens and their parents, but also has a specialty in working with parents individually. Not only does she do an amazing job supporting her clients, but she also works with me on supervising our team and helping to lead them clinically. If you have the rare opportunity to work with Jennifer (as her schedule is rarely open), I think you are in great hands!  Who do you LOVE working with? I enjoy working with clients of all ages! However, I am particularly interested in tweens and teens as I believe adolescence is the most challenging and complicated stage in a person’s life! As a therapist, I love having the opportunity to support my client’s identity development, interpersonal challenges, and social and emotional health. Also, due to my many years of experience working with adolescents, I have also developed a passion for working with their parents. My unique insight into this stage of development helps support parents' goals of raising healthy and autonomous individuals. What should potential clients know about you and your style in therapy? I utilize various evidence-based therapeutic modalities as I believe the therapeutic approach should meet the client’s needs, not vice versa. In treatment, I always operate under a trauma-informed and culturally sensitive lens. What is your favorite parenting tip or recommendation? Although not the only form of communication, words matter. Even when you think that your child is not listening, they are. The best way to teach your child positive behaviors is by role modeling, but you are also human, and you might not get it right every time. You are also learning with your child, so if you notice that your emotions are intensifying and might dictate your reaction, take some space and walk away rather than saying things you may not mean or want to say. What advice would you like to have received when you were younger? Expressing sadness is not a sign of weakness. I was raised in a culture that values strength and promotes the “fake it until you make it” mentality. Just because you are not doing or feeling well does not mean that you have to act like everything is fine. Feel all of your feelings. This will create opportunities to learn more about yourself and how to cope better. What do you like to do in your free time? I am an avid traveler. The best way to experience culture is by visiting the place of origin. One of the best learning experiences is cultural shock, as this provides a unique opportunity to question everything you know and perhaps change your perspective for the better. I think this has made me a more well-rounded therapist, so I can better understand and serve my clients. At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with Jennifer Gonzalez, or another Thrive therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. Next up we have Kimberly Macias! She is an associate professional clinical counselor (APCC 5752), working with our clinical supervisor, Jennifer Gonzalez (LMFT 98444). Kim is really talented at finding solution focused ways to help her clients, even the youngest kids she works with. She loves working with parents and is truly an amazing resource for families who want to blend learning tools to help their children and time to process the challenges they are experiencing.  Who do you LOVE working with? I love working with clients from all walks of life, from children to adults and everything in between. I love working with clients to build confidence and self-esteem, and I love being able to help clients meet their goals. What should potential clients know about you and your style in therapy? I strive to provide a warm and nurturing space for you to identify your needs and goals. I approach therapy as a partnership between me and my clients to help you reach your goals, and I strive to create a space where you can be yourself. What is your favorite parenting tip or recommendation? I always recommend that parents spend time one-on-one with their children where the child gets to pick the activity. You may be surprised by what they choose! And it's a great way to show how special they and their interests are to you. What advice would you like to have received when you were younger? I would have liked to hear, and I want everyone to know, that it is okay to ask for help when you need it. There is nothing wrong with seeking the help you need, and it's the first step on the journey to better mental health. What do you like to do in your free time? I am a big book nerd and love to read. I also like to explore the city with my family, try new foods, and see new places. At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with Kimberly Macias, or another Thrive therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. Up next is Abbey Stewart! She is an associate marriage and family therapist (AMFT 133167), working with our clinical supervisor, Jennifer Gonzalez (LMFT 98444). Abbey is wise beyond her years and brings that to her clinical work, offering a depth of clinical understanding that is so helpful in her work with children, pre-teens, and their parents. She is able to facilitate communication between her clients and their parents, as well as between them in her pre-teen group, in a really effective way.  Who do you LOVE working with? It is hard to narrow a certain group down as my favorite to work with and support. I have found that whether a person is in elementary school or leaving college, we are all humans trying our best to navigate new experiences and find our sense of self. I have found joy in both individual work and working with our Preteen Group, as well! What should potential clients know about you and your style in therapy? I would love for clients to know that I have tools and knowledge that I use to support a client in exploring the questions or processing experiences they have. Ultimately, every person is the expert of their own experiences, and supporting people in their therapeutic journey is a great privilege. What is your favorite parenting tip or recommendation? My favorite parenting tip is not usually my most popular: less is more. I mean that parents are quick to believe that if they don’t offer solutions or instant comfort, their child will experience unreasonable distress. I like to support children in finding their inner strengths by increasing their understanding that they can navigate challenges autonomously. If folks have questions, I am happy to expand! What advice would you like to have received when you were younger? I actually received the most valuable advice, but my personal doubts and anxieties distracted me from taking it. The most valuable advice I have been given is that I was enough. We live in a world that is pervasive with comparison and urges to improve or change. I love supporting clients in discovering the areas of growth, of course, but understanding that they have the resources and strengths within to meet their needs. What do you like to do in your free time? I love reading a good mystery novel paired with bubble tea. And I can always enjoy perusing one of the million dog rescue accounts I follow on social media. At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with Abbey Seldomridge, or another Thrive therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. The next therapist I am excited to introduce you to is Dr. Andrea Seldomridge, who is currently a psychological associate (PSB94026434) working closely with me as I have the privilege of supervising her work (Dr. Erica Wollerman, PSY25614). She is one of the most intentional and detail oriented therapists that I have ever worked with and brings a depth of knowledge and understanding to her clinical work that is pretty impressive! She has rare new client openings even in afternoons!  Who do you LOVE working with? I love working with children, teens, and young adults. Getting to walk alongside clients and witness both their struggles and growth is a true privilege. As a queer therapist, working with members of the queer community is something near and dear to me. I love having conversations around what it means to develop a queer identity! Additionally, I love working with folks experiencing anxiety, school stressors, religious issues, interpersonal resolution challenges, identity development, and transitions into young adulthood. What should potential clients know about you and your style in therapy? I like to strike a balance between structured and unstructured. I often will bring in tools that may help them with what they’re coming in for, such as depression or anxiety. However, I always want to meet the client where they’re at and utilize a more conversational and organic approach. What is your favorite parenting tip or recommendation? Less is more! Often it can be so hard seeing kids and teens about to make mistakes. Instead of stepping in each time, allowing them to make mistakes can be such a great way to help them grow, mature, and build confidence. What advice would you like to have received when you were younger? Whatever you are anxious about likely won’t matter in a year, so you will get through it! What do you like to do in your free time? I love to run (aka go on “gentle jogs”), throw a lacrosse ball around, and watch a movie and make popcorn each weekend. At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with Dr. Andrea Seldomridge, or a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As the founder of Thrive, I have the privilege of working closely with some truly amazing therapists. My Thrive Team! In the next blog series, I am going to be introducing you to them one at a time. The next therapist I am excited to introduce you to is Molly Llamas, who is currently an associate marriage and family therapist (AMFT 122924), working with our clinical supervisor, Jennifer Gonzalez (LMFT 98444). Molly is a vibrant and deeply compassionate therapist who is gifted in her ability to connect with clients authentically while also challenging them to work on themselves in a deeper way. She has rare new client openings even in afternoons!  Who do you LOVE working with? I am passionate about working with adolescents and young adults. I aim to create safe and affirming spaces that are inclusive of all cultures, races, genders, age, and sexual orientations. As a bilingual Latinx therapist, I am passionate about working with the BIPOC community in supporting them through their healing journey. I am also passionate about working with individuals through different walks of life and experiences including cultural issues, imposter syndrome, first-generation stressors, life transitions, trauma, self-esteem, self-advocacy/ boundaries, identity exploration and expression, and anxiety and depression. What should potential clients know about you and your style in therapy? I bring my authentic self to all sessions by incorporating humor, curiosity, empathy, and culture, inviting you to bring your whole self too. My approach includes a multicultural lens that allows me to understand and honor all of my clients’ needs and stories by meeting them where they are at, while also challenging them to step out of their comfort zones through a non-judgemental approach. What is your favorite parenting tip or recommendation? Less is more! Oftentimes, parents may feel pulled to make decisions and choices for their children to prevent them from making mistakes or getting hurt. I love experiences where I can work with parents to normalize these worries/ concerns while also empowering them to welcome opportunities to see their children succeed and learn from their mistakes/ choices. What advice would you like to have received when you were younger? Be gentle with yourself. What do you like to do in your free time? During my free time I enjoy cuddling and spending quality time with my puppy, binge watching a good Netflix series with a bowl of chips with Tapatio, dancing, making art, and trying new restaurants around the city. At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with Molly Llamas, or a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
By Dr. Erica Wollerman
As I shared last week in my blog post about overscheduling, I have been thinking a lot about overscheduling as we adjust to the back-to-school phase. So often, our kids have jam-packed schedules filled with numerous extracurricular activities, tutoring sessions, and academic pursuits. While exposing kids to various experiences can be beneficial, overscheduling can take a toll on their physical and emotional well-being. As parents, it's crucial to strike a balance between offering enriching opportunities and allowing ample time for unstructured play and relaxation. In this blog post, I will share some of the risks associated with overscheduled children and the importance of nurturing balance and well-being in their lives.
So, what on earth could go wrong when you are just trying to provide your children with opportunities?
As parents, it's essential to evaluate your child's schedule regularly and make necessary adjustments to maintain balance. Focus on quality over quantity, allowing your child to participate in a few activities they genuinely enjoy and excel at. Invite them to talk with you about what they enjoy and what activities they might want to stop doing. It is a good learning experience for kids and parents to realize that we are not actually able to do “everything.” Encouraging downtime and rest in your child's daily routine is also important. Sufficient sleep and relaxation are vital for their physical and mental well-being. How you frame this to them is so important - so make sure to let them know that they need rest just as much as they need activity, school, and food. Let them know that the signals of being tired all the time, not motivated, stressed, etc., are actually signals of needing downtime, just like a check engine light in the car is a sign the car needs some mechanical support! The “check engine light” analogy usually is super helpful in building an understanding of what our bodies need! I totally understand why parents want to provide their children with so many opportunities - we all truly want the best for our children after all! Learning to strike a balance between enriching experiences and downtime is essential for their overall well-being and development. By nurturing a balanced schedule, we can foster their growth, creativity, and happiness, allowing them to academically and emotionally flourish. Remember that a child's well-being should always be the top priority, and finding that sweet spot of balance can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling childhood experience.
If you are interested in learning more about connecting with your child please make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Dr. Wollerman will be launching a parenting course all about this topic later this summer or early fall! You do not want to miss it!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and telehealth via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
By: Dr. Erica Wollerman
Today, I wanted to share something that has been on my mind lately - the crazy world of overscheduling our kiddos. Now, don’t get me wrong, I totally get it! We all want the best for our kids, and we can get so caught up in the whirlwind of things we think we need to be doing for them or opportunities we need to provide them with.
Sometimes it feels like we are living in the era of trying to make our kids “super kids.” We want them to excel at everything they do and are willing to invest in them accordingly. Private lessons for a sport they just started? Why not! Extracurricular activities on a daily basis? Sure! Especially if you can afford to pay for these things, it can be hard to hold ourselves back from doing so. It can be hard to take a step back and think about what we communicate to our kids by doing so much all the time. As a psychologist, I worry a lot about both the message we send to our kids by having their days packed as though they are a mini CEO, but I also worry about the impact on us as parents. For the kids, I think that, unfortunately, we give them the message that their worth and value in the world are only driven by their actions and accomplishments rather than who they are as people. Additionally, it gives them little room to explore, play, and have down time that they need in order to consolidate the information they are learning all day. The major downside of this for them is that they can end up feeling like they need to be busy and accomplished to be worthy. And they can miss crucial opportunities for learning other parts of life that are outside a curriculum or activity, such as how to manage boredom, how to entertain yourself, how to cope with uncomfortable feelings, and how to develop their own interests on their own (without an adult’s support or guidance). I often wonder how our kids will develop creativity and passions without having more time to learn about who they are on the inside. Plus, let's not forget about the stress it puts on us as parents. The logistics alone could be a full-time job! Racing from one activity to another, trying to beat the clock, and crossing our fingers that the traffic gods are on our side—it's exhausting. We barely have time to catch our breath, let alone have quality family moments. I believe that overscheduling leads to parents and kids often feeling that they can never do enough or be enough. There just are not enough hours in the day for us to provide all of the enrichment we feel we need to provide for our kids. And by adding in activity after activity, we communicate to our kids that the way through our feelings is to always take action. I propose an alternative idea here. Let's aim for a balanced approach instead of running around like headless chickens. Choose a couple of activities that genuinely excite and interest our kids, and make sure there's still plenty of downtime just to be kids. This can also give us time as parents to have some of our own interests as well, which can only help our children as it helps us show them a more balanced life and an adult who is hopefully not perpetually busy and stressed. Another idea is to involve our kids in the decision-making process. Ask them what activities they enjoy the most and what they'd like to explore further. This way, we encourage autonomy and let them shape their own experiences. Of course, every family is different, and what works for one might not work for another. So let's not fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to other families and their schedules. Let's do what feels right for our kids and our own sanity. While it might be hard to believe this, childhood is not intended to be a race to adulthood with adult responsibilities! It is meant to be a time of play, development, and learning. At the end of the day, our goal is to raise happy, healthy, and well-rounded individuals. And that means striking that perfect balance between activities and downtime. So here's to embracing the messy, fun, and unplanned moments of childhood—let's savor them while we can!
If you are interested in learning more about connecting with your child please make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Dr. Wollerman will be launching a parenting course all about this topic later this summer or early fall! You do not want to miss it!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and telehealth via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
By: Dr. Erica Wollerman
One of the most challenging things parents can deal with is their child struggling with school. Perhaps it is due to their executive functioning challenges, another mental or physical health diagnosis, or a learning disability. It could even just be that they do not have a particular aptitude for a subject, such as math or reading. Something I notice often in my work with children and teens is that parents are not always equipped to support their child who is struggling in this way.
It truly can be complicated as we want to empower our children to believe they can overcome challenges, but we also need to recognize that the challenges do exist in a very real way. Unfortunately, our academic systems are inherently ableist, and instead of our children knowing that they are doing the best they can in a system that is not designed for their needs, they believe they are “stupid, dumb, not good enough, etc.” As parents, it is crucial that we find a way to talk with them candidly about these experiences so that they can develop a healthier internal narrative. Here are nine tips to help you do just that: 1. Identify, Address, and Understand Learning Gaps To help your child, you will need to know what they are experiencing and struggling with if you do not already know. This means seeking professional support and possibly even an evaluation outside the school system to have a more thorough diagnosis. Once you know their challenges, seek further professional support, whether privately or through their school district. Even more, do your research to help yourself understand what their diagnosis means for them and what it means for you in terms of how you might need to support them. 2. Encourage a Growth Mindset: A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work rather than innate ability. It is the idea of something not happening “yet” instead of “not ever possible.” For example, if your child struggles with reading, it is the ability to view that situation as temporary and something to work on. A skill that has not been developed yet, rather than that the child is “not capable of reading.” When their learning experiences are challenging, help your child persevere by emphasizing that mistakes are a crucial part of learning and not indicative of a problem with them or their capability. 3. Shift their narrative As a parent, if you get the sense that your child believes they are inherently unable to do something, work to help them shift their narrative to something more productive. For example, sharing with them that, at times, they are being compared to older peers or that their brain is just not ready to learn whatever they are learning. As adults, we can give them the perspective that things are hard to understand sometimes, and that does not have to mean anything negative about them. 4. Celebrate Small Victories For kids that struggle more than the average child, it can be extremely helpful for their parents to help them acknowledge and celebrate their victories, no matter how small. 5. Break Tasks into Manageable Steps For kids who struggle with learning disorders or executive functioning issues, it is essential to help them learn how to break tasks down so that they are less overwhelming. Schools often help with this, but it is important to help them at home too. Even with something as simple as cleaning up their room - help them identify one part or category of item to clean up first to help it feel less challenging. 6. Incorporate Learning through Play As I probably mention too often, play is how our children learn. No matter their strengths and weaknesses, play can be key to helping a child learn something they are struggling with academically. You could engage your child in educational games, activities, puzzles, etc. The goal is to make learning more enjoyable so they feel less negatively about school and educational activities. 7. Create a Quiet Study Environment Most children need a space without distractions and noise to study and complete their homework. This space is even more important for children who struggle academically. Make sure the area where they study is consistently available to them and that they have a consistent routine to complete academic tasks. 8. Encourage Your Child to Ask for Help Teach your child that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Encourage them to ask questions in class, seek clarification from teachers, or request assistance from peers. While it can be hard for a child who is struggling and may feel like asking for help just shows everyone else how much they struggle, it can be a huge source of support. Knowing when and how to seek help is an important skill that fosters academic growth and self-assurance. 9. Offer Unconditional Support Above all, let your child know that you love and support them unconditionally, regardless of their academic performance. Remind them that their value extends far beyond their grades and that you are proud of their efforts and progress. You can enhance this by ensuring you ask them about more than the areas they are struggling in. Connect about their interests and passions and have no more than weekly conversations about potential challenges academically and how they are navigating them. A loving and understanding support system can work wonders in boosting a struggling student's confidence. In sum, boosting academic confidence in kids who struggle academically requires patience, understanding, and a positive approach. It can also require parents to work on shifting their ideas around school, success, and capability. The more I have worked with individual clients who have academic struggles, the more I have realized that our educational systems are inherently flawed and ableist in nature. If we can share this with our children, they can begin to see potential issues they are having as a product of their learning style with their environment rather than their internal flaws (like being “stupid” or “lazy”). If we can avoid our children internalizing their challenges, they are much more likely to find their path to success!
If you are interested in learning more about connecting with your child please make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Dr. Wollerman will be launching a parenting course all about this topic later this summer or early fall! You do not want to miss it!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and telehealth via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
By: Dr. Erica Wollerman
As much as summer has certainly gone by too quickly for most of us, school is coming up on us fast, and we definitely need to be ready for this transition! Especially for children who are prone to anxiety or separation issues. For them, the return to school can be particularly daunting, especially due to so many unknowns at the beginning of a school year.
Will I have friends in my class(es)? Will I make new friends? Will I like my teacher(s)? As parents, we can support our children and their likely overwhelming emotions in this transition. Hopefully, we can even help them gain confidence in their ability to overcome challenges (aka build resilience and grit)! In this blog, I want to share some practical tips to empower your child and promote a positive back-to-school experience. 1. Start with Open Communication I am always a big fan of communicating and approaching challenges with curiosity in families. The return to school is no different. We need to encourage our children to share their thoughts, feelings, and potential fears about the return to school and listen without any judgment or suggestions. You can reassure them that nervousness and anxiety are common with this time period, that you believe in their ability to handle this challenge, and that you will support them as much as possible. 2. Re-establish Routines Gradually As I mentioned in my general back-to-school blog last week, it is important to begin preparing for the return to school in advance. For a more anxious child, I would recommend beginning this process about two weeks prior to the school year. This will help minimize the shock of the adjustment back to school. 3. Focus on the Positive Aspects While we don’t ever want to ignore or breeze by our child’s concerns, we do want to present them with a balanced perspective of the upcoming school year. Make sure to share your own ideas about what might be enjoyable or even share your observation of the past years when your child has been able to overcome their fears to have a good time. If you can, elicit your child to share their own ideas about positive things that they hope for in the upcoming school year. 4. Teach Coping Strategies We want to equip our children with as many tools as we can to help them through tough situations. Teaching them deep breathing, visualization strategies, and affirmations or mantras can help them cope with stressful situations. Make sure to practice these ahead of time so that they are well known to your child and they feel able to use them in a difficult moment. Keep in mind that coping strategies can be very helpful, but are not going to totally solve any problem that we have. 5. Set Clear Expectations With more anxious children, it can be tempting to let things be more unclear. Such as, of course I can pick you up early, but only if you are having a hard time. Or, I am just a phone call away, but please don’t call. You get the idea, I’m sure. What we want to do for our more anxious children is let them know that we believe they are capable of staying the whole day at school and that at the end of the first week, we will celebrate them in some way. Then, make sure not to give in too easily if they begin asking to come home early. When we do that quickly, we do not give them the chance to persevere through a hard moment to realize they can do hard things. So, set clear expectations for your child ahead of time of what to expect and try not to accommodate their fears and anxiety by changing your behavior. 6. Set them up for Success This might look different for different children. For some, you might set up a lot of play dates with friends and classmates ahead of time. For others, you might need to communicate with the school and their teacher ahead of time to let them know that your child might need more support in the transition. Many more anxious children will need both of these strategies, so make sure to put them in place for them to feel supported. Plus, make sure to let them know that they can always talk to you about their feelings and the challenges they face at school. Again, listen with curiosity and avoid judgment or jumping in to rescue them, as that just gives the message that they truly can’t handle it. Back to school can be a tough transition for all children but particularly for more anxious children. With these tips and strategies, you will be able to support your child effectively and hopefully smooth the transition. If you or your child needs more support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to our team at Thrive!
If you are interested in learning more about connecting with your child please make sure to sign up for our newsletter! Dr. Wollerman will be launching a parenting course all about this topic later this summer or early fall! You do not want to miss it!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client-centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy we offer in person and telehealth via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
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