​Tell us about you and why you wanted to become a therapist. 
From a very early age I knew I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. Growing up with a mother who was a nurse and an uncle who was a firefighter, I saw how impactful being there for someone in their most vulnerable state could be. And I knew I wanted to find a way to do this too. This desire led me to obtaining my doctorate in Clinical Psychology. Through my education and professional experiences I developed a great passion for working with adolescents, their parents, and adults.
 
What do you love about being a therapist? 
Being a therapist brings me so much joy. I get to connect with individuals from all walks of life and see the world through their lens. It is a pleasure working alongside my clients, supporting, guiding, and rooting them on as they brave the challenges life can sometimes bring. My clients are as much my teachers as I am theirs. My clients never cease to amaze and inspire me with their strength, courage, and resilience.
 
How would you describe yourself as a therapist? 
It is important to me that each client feels they have a safe space where they can speak freely about their thoughts and feelings, where they feel heard and understood without judgment. I hold that space for my clients and meet them where they are with an open mind and heart. I believe the therapeutic relationship is similar to being teammates. I am on my client’s team; I walk alongside them in their journey. I support, challenge, encourage, and empower my clients to make the changes they want to make. 
 
Who do you love working with in therapy? 
I love my work with children, adolescents, adults, and parents. I particularly enjoy working with adolescents, as well as adults going through a life transition.  Areas of focus include, but are not limited to: ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Behavioral Issues, Parenting, Life Transitions, Racial Identity, Relationship Issues, and Women's Issues. 
 
Do you have a particular theory or framework that guides your work as a therapist?  If so, describe it and tell us why you use that. 
My approach looks to help my clients become more understanding, accepting and compassionate in dealing with themselves and those they love. I incorporate evidence-based approaches that best fit the needs of each client. I integrate various frameworks including, family systems, cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing, and acceptance and commitment therapy. 
 
Share one thing you are passionate about in your professional or personal life. 
Although I love being a therapist, my biggest passion is being a mom. I enjoy spending time with my family outdoors taking advantage of the beautiful city we live in! I also love photography and enjoy shooting nature and architecture

The holiday season is upon us. And let’s be honest, the holidays can be quite stressful and exhausting! They can be demanding and overwhelming for the whole family. And feeling like you need to do everything to give your kids an amazing holiday can make it even worse. For you and them. Especially when they are displaying challenging behaviors and you start to feel resentful because they seem ungrateful. It is important to remember this time of year is not just stressful and exhausting for you, it is for your children too. Whether it is tests, finals, parties, school performances, extracurricular activities, family visiting, or all of the above, it is a LOT for them. It is a lot for ALL of you.

So try and remember this when your child is giving you an attitude, throwing a fit, wants to stay in their room, or displaying any challenging behavior. These behaviors are likely their way of communicating they are overwhelmed, over stimulated, or tired and in need of a break. And don’t forget about you, when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, becoming irritable or short with your family members, take a break. Try to model for your family that the holidays should not be about being stressed and overwhelmed. You don’t have to do every trending holiday activity or event. Pick a few, or none. Make family traditions simple, and let them be about who you are as family and what you enjoy, and not what everyone else is doing. Remind yourself of this as many times as you need. Take a moment to look at your beautiful family. Enjoy them this holiday season. Have fun, be playful, and let the small things (or big things that no one cares about anyway) go. Happy Holidays! May this be the best one yet!

We at Thrive thought it would be fun to share a joint blog from our team of therapists where we each share one of our favorite parenting tips. Since we all have different perspectives, this is a great way to get to know each of us as a therapist. Hope you like it and find our ideas helpful! 
 
Lindsey Brady, LMFT - How to support your child through tough feelings
 
In practice, I often work with children who experience difficulty with self-regulation, anger, and tantrum behaviors.  A big part of what I do is help parents to understand developmental levels and how to support their kids through the “tough stuff.”  Often, as parents, we expect our children to be respectful and behave appropriately and it’s easy to forget that kids often don’t understand or know how to manage their emotions.  It’s important to teach children that ALL feelings are okay, even the ones that seem socially unacceptable, like anger or jealousy, and that all feelings pass with time.   Encourage your kids to do something with their feelings if they need to.  Invite them to be still or to share, cry, or communicate.  If a child is unable to regulate and engages in inappropriate behaviors, parents can lovingly disengage and remind themselves that the behavior is not a reflection of their parenting or their child’s lack of respect, but more a lack of skill in dealing with the emotion or situation.  Stepping back in the moment and addressing it when everyone is calm enables the child to be in an emotional space to learn and allows the parent space to explain and correct in a calm and loving way.
 
Maria Fowlks, PsyD - Validate your child’s feelings
 
Validating your child’s emotions helps them feel heard and understood, and it lets them know their feelings matter. When you do this, you are sending the message you love and accept them regardless of how they think and feel. It is important to honor and validate the big and small things, because what may seem small to you is likely very big to them. It shows them you care and think their feelings are important. It teaches them that ALL feelings are valid.
 
Jennifer Gonzalez, LMFT - Provide your child with options
 
I am almost sure that you have heard “children like to have options” before.  I agree with this statement completely.  Children and adolescents like to feel like they are in control and hold power, and who doesn’t?
 
Well, I would like to offer you an extension of that.  Giorgio Nardone creator of Brief Strategic Therapy designed an intervention called “illusion of alternatives” which is exactly what it says; it gives the illusion that the person has an alternative.  This intervention is a real elegant way in which you offer the possibility of a option: The first option is very frightening and almost impossible for the person to complete and the second option is one that is less threatening and easier to put into practice.  
 
Translating this into child and adolescent terms: the first option should be one that is boring, tedious, and annoying to them.  The second option (the one that you really want them to choose) should be doable, easy and in many ways more appealing.  For example you may say: “Would you rather vacuum the entire house or take out the trash?” or for adolescents “Would you rather do the dishes and put them away or vacuum the living room.”
 
Angela Bianco, ASW -  Helping parents shift from being reactive to proactive in parenting
 
Taking time to reflect on your parenting and interactions with your child is crucial in learning to shift from being reactive to proactive in parenting. Unfortunately, because our lives are so busy, parents are more likely to operate from a reactive state of mind instead of working from a clear set of principles and strategies. Instead of just reacting, try asking yourself the following questions: Why did he act this way? What's the lesson? How can I best teach it?  Use these questions and your overarching parenting principles you want to use to guide your parenting as a guide for how to intervene and teach your child.
 
Erica Wollerman, PsyD – Knowing when to let your kid fail
 
As many of you who read the Thrive blog know, I am passionate in my belief that as parents, one of the best things we can do is to allow your child to fail at times. I believe strongly in the importance of teaching kids that failure is okay because it means you are trying new things and leaving your comfort zone. The other great thing about allowing your kids to fail is that you can then coach them through the failure. Teaching them how to fix things after mistakes, how to manage their feelings about the failure, and that it is okay to fall down only helps build grit and resiliency in all of us. As parents, this is a great gift you can give your children that will help them be more successful and resourceful in the future!  
 
We hope you enjoyed our first group blog!  There will hopefully be many more to come in the future so that we can continue sharing our many different experiences and thoughts with you!
 
If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy with one of us, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
 
If you would like to receive updated information about Thrive Therapy, please feel free to sign up for our newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. 

Being a therapist brings me so much joy. I get to connect with individuals from all walks of life and see the world through their lens. There are many reasons why I love being a therapist. I will share 6 of these reasons below.
 
1. It is a challenge. Therapy is hard work, not just for the client but for the therapist too. Therapy is like an intricate dance, and it is important for the therapist to know when to move delicately, move boldly, and when to let the client do a solo while you cheer them on.  Although the work can be challenging, it is incredibly rewarding.
 
2. It is an honor and privilege to be apart of someone’s journey. Being given access into a person’s thoughts and feelings as well as seeing a person at their most vulnerable, is truly a privilege. In a fast past society where time seems to fly by, being able to be present and in the moment with another human being is a wonderful gift. It is an honor to be able to just BE with a client, with no agenda, in whatever it is they are going through.
 
3. I enjoy my role as a guide and a cheerleader. It is a pleasure working alongside my clients, supporting, guiding, and rooting them on as they brave the challenges life can sometimes bring. The reward of being able to witness my clients learn about themselves and grow is invaluable.
 
4. It is inspiring. I too learn and evolve. My clients are as much my teachers as I am theirs. My approach to therapy is a partnership, and in that partnership there is learning occurring on both sides. My clients never cease to amaze and inspire me with their strength, courage, and resilience.
 
5. Therapy is dynamic. There is never a dull moment. Each client is so different and brings their own life experiences and challenges and I get to come along on the journey, even if it is for a brief period of time. Being multiracial, I value diversity and multiculturalism, and enjoy the diverse array of clients I see.
 
6. I am there for the best and the worst. I get to witness the human experience. It’s not always pretty, but it is real. In a society where it is unclear what is real sometimes, I am grateful to be part of the REAL human experience and it is truly an honor.

Thank you for reading!  For more information about Dr. Fowlks and her services, please contact her at 858.401.6929 or check her profile out here. 
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