By Panicha McGuire, LMFT, RPTBy now you are probably running out of ideas of things to do with your child when you’ve been confined with each other for weeks. Or, you’ve probably seen Frozen II for the 100th time. Although we all hope to get back to normal soon, this may be a good opportunity for you to take a step back and practice becoming emotionally closer to one another. These are some activities that will help elicit open dialogue with your child, help you learn more about each other’s likes/dislikes, and some are just plain fun.
Fun Tip - These activities can be parent(s) vs children which will help siblings’ bond and learn to work together! As always, we at Thrive are here for parents and teens, particularly during this unprecedented time in our world. We want to help you make the most of the pandemic but also help you cope with it if you are struggling. Please make sure to balance any advice you are taking with a healthy dose of self-care and realistic expectations! At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL. By: Panicha McGuire, M.A. By now, you’ve probably heard about the children being separated from their families at the US-Mexico border. Just to be clear, there is no official Trump administration policy stating that families entering the U.S. without papers are to be separated. The “zero tolerance policy” is that all adults entering the U.S. illegally are to be criminally prosecuted; however, when these adults are sent before a judge to see if they will be deported or sent to federal jail, that’s when separation happens. So, while the parents await to see what happens to them, the “unaccompanied children” have to be dealt with. Children are then separated and transferred to the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) in the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Most children do not have relatives already in the U.S. so they are placed in short-term shelters or foster families since criminal defendants don’t have a right to have their children with them in jail.
Now politics aside, we cannot ignore that separating children from their parents has several psychological and even biological implications. Forced separation places children at a high risk for mental health issues. The trauma of being separated from their parents or family members only adds to the stressful experiences they have already endured in order to arrive at the border. The accumulated stress from these traumatic experiences disrupts their brain development, and the effects can unfortunately last a lifetime. Parents are essential in fulfilling the child’s fundamental needs for early attachment, or parent-child bond. In my work with attachment, being deprived from parental care (even if children are placed in stable and loving families) can cause both short term and long term biological and psychological issues. This disruption in attachment creates a belief system that their parents are unreliable and that the world is unpredictable, which can become problematic. In the short-term, these children are at a higher risk for problems with sleep, impulsivity, emotion regulation, anxiety, and depression. The long-term implications are impaired cognitive functioning and social-emotional functioning, and the increased risk of developing mental health disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder, severe anxiety disorders, depression, and the list continues. The consequences of family separation are profound; so, if you are personally affected or would simply like to take action, please check out the resources below. Donating or Joining the Community
Note from Thrive Founder, Erica Wollerman: While I usually try to avoid posting anything political on our website and Facebook page, since our practice is dedicated to supporting children, teens, parents, and families, I personally felt that the separation of children from their families was a topic we just could not ignore. At Thrive, we spend our time uniting families and working through communication issues, conflict, and difficulties connecting as well as childhood trauma at times. We are all concerned about the damage being caused to these children, teens, parents, and families and wanted to share not just our opinions, but information about why we are concerned as well as ways some of you can help. By: Panicha Sillapawatayanon, M.A.![]() Play is an important part of childhood. Play helps children develop cognitively, physically, socially, and emotionally. Children who play have healthy brain development. It’s through play that children learn to explore the world around them and start mastering challenges. And above all else, play is enjoyable! Undirected play, or free play, gives children opportunities to learn new skills while moving at their own pace. Free play allows children to use their creativity, develop their imagination, and encourages them to learn how to share with their peers and resolve their conflicts. Additionally, free play helps keep them active through physical activity! However, parent involvement is always encouraged! Parents who play with their children build relationships with them that are loving and engaging. Even when parents simply watch their children play they are able to take a peek into their children’s world. Parent supervision is needed when children are playing outside too. It’s important to note that true free play isn’t passive play such as video games, watching tv, or playing on the iPad. Some examples of free play include:
Overscheduled children have less high-quality family time and are unable to receive the benefits of free play that would help protect them against the effects of stress. Ultimately, every family is different so parents can decide on the appropriate amount of scheduled activities that suit their family. But in my experience, many parents feel as though they can’t slow down or their children will fall behind. Some also worry that they won’t be good parents if they don’t match up to what the other parents are doing. Consider finding a good balance for your family between living (playing) in the moment and preparing for their future. Every child has different needs, so it’s likely that your family’s balance will look different from others. What if my children are bored? It seems that in our culture, we’re used to moving at a quick pace. We’re always looking for “what to do next?”. Children need to grow comfortable with silence and become bored sometimes. Feeling bored is a great opportunity for them to develop creativity! Avoid filling their free time with screen entertainment, and you’ll see how imaginative and creative they can become. It’s okay to say no to your children instead of feeling you have to go the extra mile or they will suffer or be deprived. Children will have plenty of time to be stressed and overscheduled as adults! If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to them by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. By: Panicha Sillapawatayanon, M.A. When our children are babies, we play with them by cooing, bouncing them on our knees, or playing peek-a-boo. These interactions help babies gain trust, security, and joy, as they learn to connect with their caregivers. But when life moves forward and our children grow older, it’s easy for us to get caught up by the stress of work, financial difficulties, illnesses, or any of life’s challenges that we forget to maintain our connection with them. And of course, your child might want to play with you when you least feel like playing with them! Attachment play is a wonderful resource for building a connection, and only 20-30 minutes of playtime a day could help you restore your connection with your child. Research studies have supported the effectiveness of attachment activities in helping children with emotional and behavioral problems—though attachment play can benefit everyone.
It is never too late to engage your children in this type of play. A major advantage of attachment-based play is that it does not require any special toys or materials. You can use what you already have at home (pillows, dolls, and even cotton balls!). You can also play with your child anywhere and anytime, whether it is on the playground or in your car. And if you have more children in your home, you can involve them too! Here are some attachment activities I recommend to strengthen your connection to your child (these work best with children 3 and up!)
If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. By: Dr. Erica Wollerman |
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