Child, Teen and Adult Psychotherapy Services in San Diego
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6 Ways to Cope with Loneliness

12/8/2021

 
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By: Dr. Andrea Seldomridge

Loneliness is something we all experience at one time or another. For myself, I often associate loneliness with when I’ve moved to a new city by myself away from friends, or when I’ve ended a stage in my life, like graduating, and missed the sense of community that I once had. Sometimes it can feel hopeless that you’ll feel deeper connections with others and find people to confide in like you have in the past, or that you’ll be able to develop a new relationship altogether. Sometimes people feel especially lonely at the end of a relationship, or maybe after a fall out with a friend. Other times, people can feel lonely even when in a crowd of people they love. Loneliness can be caused by a whole variety of situations! Overcoming loneliness can feel difficult to do, and that’s okay too. Below I’ve listed some ways that can be helpful in coping with loneliness.
  1. Know that it’s okay to feel lonely. Even if you have good relationships and maybe feel like you “shouldn’t” feel lonely, it’s still okay if you do. It doesn’t make you ungrateful, but rather it means you’re a person with a wide range of emotions! Learning to recognize and accept that you’re feeling lonely is a great start.
  2. You aren’t alone in feeling lonely. As a therapist I can definitely validate that there has been an increase in feeling disconnected from others since the beginning of the pandemic. It’s definitely not just you. You might be surprised at how many others in your life feel just as lonely.
  3. Consider what might be causing the loneliness. Like I mentioned above, there are so many reasons why someone might feel lonely. Identifying why you are feeling lonely can help make it easier to know how to cope. Maybe you aren’t close with anyone in your town, or maybe it’s been difficult to spend quality time with others. Maybe you just came out of a relationship, or maybe you feel disconnected even when with others. When was the last time you didn’t feel lonely? What was it about that time that made you feel connected?
  4. Reach out to others. This might seem impossible, or it might seem that if I had people to reach out to, I wouldn’t feel lonely! I always try to think about who I can reach out to that I’m not the closest with, like an acquaintance or someone I haven’t talked to for a while. Sending a simple text to someone can really brighten their day. There’s a chance that they might be feeling lonely too and would be excited to know you were thinking of them. It can feel intimidating to do so, and it’s okay if you feel anxious. We all feel nervous to reach out to others at one time or another!
  5. Allow time for relationships to grow. Sometimes I miss the day in kindergarten when I instantly made a friend with the girl I shared a desk with. Most of my relationships since then have taken more time to develop. Most relationships take time and effort to become deeper and genuinely connected. If it’s taking longer for you, that’s totally okay. Putting in extra effort can be exhausting, but it can definitely be worth it.
  6. Find ways to enjoy your own company. While loneliness isn’t fun to feel, it can actually be a time where we can invest back into ourselves. Once when I moved to a new city by myself (I’ve ended up doing it a few times) I definitely felt lonely. So for one month, I tried to view my weekends by myself as a time I could learn to enjoy my own company more. I had been wanting to get back into knitting, so I bit off more than I could chew and aimed to knit a blanket because I knew it would take longer than a single weekend to complete. While working on the blanket, I was able to take time to think about what intentions I wanted to set for myself living in the new city. Towards the end of the month, I found myself looking forward to working on the project and having time to reflect on the week and recharge.

All in all, know that you are not alone in feeling lonely. Hopefully one or two of these ways can help make experiencing loneliness a bit less difficult and help you feel more connected to others.

​Dr. Seldomridge is now accepting new clients!
​She is supervised by Dr. Erica Wollerman (PSY25614). 

At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
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Meet Dr. Andrea Seldomridge

12/3/2021

 

Tell us about you and why you wanted to become a therapist.

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​During high school, I had a few friends who began going to therapy. I didn’t know much about therapy and what mental health meant at the time, but it was getting to see them grow and heal that I first learned about how impactful therapy can be. I decided to major in psychology and was blown away about how complex our relationships, minds, and emotions can be! After college, I worked at a residential center for children and teens and absolutely loved being able to walk alongside them and their families. It was while working there that I knew I wanted to become a therapist.


What do you love about being a therapist

It is such a privilege to walk alongside clients in their journeys. I love being able to celebrate with them in their highs and sit with them in the lows. Seeing clients recognize their own strengths is always exciting. Being able to provide a safe space where they can be who they are without apology is something that I value and believe is so important! I also love the ability to work towards reducing the stigma of therapy.

How would you describe yourself as a therapist?

I would describe myself as client-focused, empathic, and being real! I value what a client’s hopes and goals are! I believe that clients are the experts on themselves, so I work to meet clients where they’re at.

Who do you love working with in therapy?

I enjoy working with individuals across the lifespan! I’ve loved working with elementary age children, as well as individuals in their 90s! Working with a variety of age groups has been exciting, especially with children and parents.

Do you have a particular theory or framework that guides your work as a therapist?  If so, describe it and tell us why you use that.

Person-centered, psychodynamic, and eclectic frameworks guide my work as a therapist. Person-centered means I stay genuine, caring, and empathic throughout therapy. It has a huge emphasis on the real relationship between a client and therapist, always keeping it authentic. Psychodynamic theory looks at how our attachments as a child with adult figures influences ways we develop relationships with others and how we see ourselves. Gaining a deeper understanding of these early relationships can help lead towards personal growth and increased ability to develop deeper relationships! An eclectic approach just means that I’m open to trying a variety of approaches. If something isn’t working, we can try something different! Everyone is unique, so I believe therapy with each client should be too!

Share one thing you are passionate about in your professional or personal life

Being a lifelong learner is something that always gets me excited. Learning about others, myself, and cultures I think is so important in becoming a better therapist for clients I work with. Personally, I love doing yoga and have been getting back into running (or, moreso gentle jogs).

Dr. Seldomridge (PSB 94026434) is now accepting new clients!
​She is supervised by Dr. Erica Wollerman (PSY25614). 

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5230 Carroll Canyon Rd. Ste 110
​San Diego, CA 92121
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Thrive Therapy Studio Therapists Offer Child, Teen, Adult, Marriage and Family Psychotherapy Counseling Services in San Diego, California.
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  • Welcome
  • About Thrive
    • Meet the Thrive Team >
      • Dr. Erica Wollerman
      • Dr. Maria Fowlks
      • Jennifer Gonzalez, LMFT
      • Ying-Ying Shiue, LPCC
      • Kim Macias, APCC
      • Dr. Andrea Seldomridge
      • Molly Llamas, AMFT
      • Abbey Stewart, AMFT
    • Appointment Information
  • Contact
  • Services
    • Group Therapy at Thrive >
      • Anxiety Group For Teens
      • Parent Support Group
      • Middle School Social-Emotional Processing Group
      • Young Adults Group (18-24)
    • Therapy for Children
    • Therapy for Teens and Young Adults
    • Therapy for Adults
    • Family Therapy
    • Parent Consultation
  • Resources
    • Information About Therapy
    • Academic Resources
    • San Diego Resources
    • Covid-19 Resources
    • Anti-Racism Resources
    • Recommended Reading
    • Resources for Specific Challenges >
      • Addiction and Recovery Information
      • ADHD
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism/Developmental Disorders
      • Child Abuse and Domestic Violence
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders/Body Image Issues
      • Personal Growth/Managing Perfectionism
      • LGBTQIA
      • Parenting
      • Relationships
      • Stress Management/Mindfulness
      • Teen Issues
  • Blog