Child, Teen and Adult Psychotherapy Services in San Diego
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      • Abbey Stewart, AMFT
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2021 Intention Blog Post

12/19/2020

 
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So, for those of you who have been reading my blog for a while might know that I usually set an intention for each year around this time. 2020 has certainly not been a year where many of us have been able to keep our intentions, or resolutions for that matter. I debated about posting anything about setting an intention for next year as, well, I almost don’t want to put anything out into the world that will leave me disappointed! 

So much of the lessons of 2020 I think have involved digging deeper into ourselves and our relationships to figure out how we deal with extraordinary situations and difficulties. My word for this year ended up being Embrace (this is after a few revisions because I started with something else I believe). And well, as much as I might not like to say it, this is exactly what this year led me to do. I spent a lot of time leaning into and embracing things that have been hard and do feel that I have learned about myself, the world, and how to be a better mom, wife, person, and therapist. 

Do I dare consider setting an intention for 2021?  

I think I do. I would encourage you to as well to be honest. I think it is important to always consider how we can lean into or improve things in our lives, even during extraordinary times. 

My word for next year is going to be Generous. 

While I am often a very generous person, particularly at work and with my team, I struggle to be generous in the way I interpret my loved ones words or actions. The narrative that I come to most easily is often not the one that is kind and generous in spirit. I would truly like to work on this and considering the fact that 2021 seems like it might start out just as challenging as 2020 has been… I think there will likely be ample opportunities to practice my generosity!  

If you are considering setting an intention for the coming year, I applaud you!  I think it is brave right now to want things and to work on improving ourselves and our lives beyond just getting through the day. Throughout this pandemic, I have been so impressed with my clients who have kept on working through the things that come up rather than just hiding from all of it considering the immense pressures on all of us. 

For those of you who would rather not tempt fate and want to give 2021 some space to be an improvement on this year, I get it. I want it to be better too!  And it is entirely okay not to challenge yourself if that feels like too much. We need to all be compassionate and kind with ourselves right now. 

This is my last blog of 2020 as I will take a break for the holidays and resume in the New Year!  I hope everyone stays healthy and finds some silver linings in the messy world of ours. If we at Thrive can do anything to help support you or your loved ones, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

5 Self Care Practices I Do Daily That are Quick and Free!

12/11/2020

 
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Many people think that therapists are somehow immune from struggling in the way everyone else does. I am pretty honest about this being entirely untrue - as any of you who regularly read my blog or follow me on social media would know! All of us could use a little bit of self-care so I thought I would share my favorite things that I do consistently, pretty much daily, in order to help keep myself as mentally okay as I can be… particularly as a therapist during a pandemic! 

I do want to just say that please, please keep in mind that self-care is not a cure all strategy. I have a healthy dose of skepticism about the “wellness industry” and how much they are pushing us all to spend on ourselves in the interests of self-care. They almost seem to be trying to sell the idea that if you engage in “this activity,” you will never feel pain again. While I definitely accept the fact that some level of struggle is just a part of being human, I do try to find ways to lessen the struggle when possible.  So while engaging in self-care is not a cure all strategy to never struggle again, it can be helpful to keep yourself hanging in there… which is all many of us can do in this wild 2020 ride. 

I also want to acknowledge that for many people, expensive self-care items or subscription boxes are just not realistic or practical. Plus, during a pandemic, many previous forms of self-care (going out with friends, massages, shopping, etc.) are just also not realistic. Additionally, many of us, particularly parents just don’t have the time for long self-care rituals. So, for this list I kept it as simple and free as possible. Plus, this is all actually what I do to keep myself functioning for my family, clients, and business. 

Okay, here’s my list! 
  1. Walk - Every day I start my day with a walk. While I often listen to a podcast or even spend that time getting a bit caught up on emails, I try to just enjoy being outside and enjoying nature. I find this helps me feel centered and grounded throughout the day. 
  2. Gratitude list - Every day I make a list of 10 things in my life that I am grateful for. I have been doing this for just over a year now and honestly, it really helps me shift my perspective. Plus, I find myself noticing things throughout the day that I want to include on the list later. So it definitely helps direct my attention towards things that are enjoyable in my life all day long. 
  3. Meditation - This is a practice that I sort of fall into and fall back out of. I recently began using Headspace daily again and have been really enjoying it! I’m really hoping that by including it in my blog that I will stick with it a bit longer than I have in the past. 
  4. Playing music with my toddler - As my son has gotten older, he is getting more and more interested in music. He is not always the most outgoing, so when he really gets into it and dances all over the place, it just fills my heart with joy. I have recently made it my intention to play music and sing and dance with him at least once a day.  
  5. Starting my day early - Now this one might not be for everyone… but for me, waking up before my family has become an important part of my daily routine. Early in motherhood, I learned that I really like it when our house is set up for the day. When things are already packed to take to daycare, the dishwasher is empty, sometimes breakfast is made, and I have time to gradually wake up. So, every day, I set my alarm a bit earlier than I need to and give myself the gift of time and some peace knowing that at least the day starts setup well and without frantic running around. I believe this helps reduce my feelings of overwhelm. 

I hope this is helpful for some of you!  Most of the activities I shared do not actually take that long and are pretty accessible even in the busiest households during a pandemic. If these ideas are not for you, maybe think up a few others. Maybe journaling, having coffee alone outside, reading a book, or taking a long shower could go on your list. Self-care does not need to be expensive or dramatic, often it is just little things we practice doing over and over that help us feel more grounded and centered. 
At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

5 Ways to Cope with Pandemic Holidays

12/4/2020

 
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As I have noticed with my clients, friends, family, and well, myself - holidays this year are feeling pretty complicated. Decision making about what to do and who is safe to see is just incredibly challenging and has been challenging throughout the pandemic. It seems like that challenge only increases as the pandemic continues to worsen this month as so many of us are just plain worn out from worrying about risks and missing our loved ones terribly. For those of us who are sticking it out as much as possible at home, I thought it might be helpful to share some ideas of how we can get through this situation and hopefully enjoy the holidays. 

  1. Pick and Choose - The most important holiday tip that I share with clients is always to pick and choose what you do. I think it is crucial that we as parents decide what traditions are the most meaningful and important for our families rather than trying to do all of them. For families with older kids, I encourage parents to check in with their kids to see what they feel is enjoyable or to pick one tradition each to make sure you do. This way you can focus on those things and only do things that truly bring you joy. It’s like the Marie Kondo approach for the holidays! 
  2. Focus on the things that are possible - I think it could be really easy this year to get very focused about all of the things we are not doing or missing out on. I know it was tough for my family to see so many others visit and gather with their loved ones for Thanksgiving and it took a conscious effort to focus on what a great day our little family was having instead. So, make sure to try to process the loss we are dealing with and allow a space for your children to do so too. But after that, focus on what is possible and how we can make those things fun. 
  3. Create new traditions - Sometimes it can help to break out of the mold and do something new instead of a modified version of a beloved tradition. If you usually spent the night at grandma’s, maybe try to make it extra fun to stay home this year with jammies and a fort in the living room or something. The thing that is important is to try to determine if doing the modified version will make you feel more sad or happy to have some closeness to your usual tradition. If it will bring joy, try it out! If you think it will just feel like a poor replacement, maybe try something you haven’t done before. 
  4. Focus on the Pro’s - I am a firm believer that there are truly pros and cons to everything. So, while we might be missing out on traveling to see family (I know we are!), we could try to focus on what we would not miss about those trips. For me, it is packing up and traveling with what feels like our whole house to keep our toddler entertained. And definitely the flights with a toddler!  So this year, while I am sad to miss out on the family visits, I am not entirely sad to miss out on the work part of the trip itself! 
  5. Take some time to rest - This year has just been so incredibly intense that I think all of us could use a holiday season without some of the hustle and bustle. While I recognize that many of us truly love that part of things this time of year, we likely are not needing more pressure or things to do. So, I think we could take this time to really try to rest and enjoy whatever down time we can. I think it is really needed particularly because of the difficulty of 2020 but also to help us stay intentional in how we cope with our feelings about the differences in our holidays. It will be easier to recognize and acknowledge our emotions if they have time to be expressed and felt. If we rush through this time (because it truly does feel easier to be distracted), we might end up even more sad or grumpy in the long run. I would encourage you to allow yourself some space to access emotions, rest, and then cope in whatever way works best for you and your family. 

I know that this is not an easy time for any of us. Holidays are already a challenging time of year for so many people that adding in a pandemic that is spiraling out of control is just unreal. Perhaps the most important thing we can all do is to just go easy on ourselves during this time. Let’s try not to set up expectations that might not be met and just get through this time one day at a time, hopefully finding some joy and holiday cheer along the way. 

If you or your loved ones would like added support, Thrive is accepting new clients over telehealth! Contact us today!
At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

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Thrive Therapy Studio
5230 Carroll Canyon Rd. Ste 110
​San Diego, CA 92121
"Watch your thoughts, 
They become words. 
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They become actions. 
Watch your actions, 
They become habits. 
Watch your habits, 
They become character; 

It becomes your destiny."

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Thrive Therapy Studio Therapists Offer Child, Teen, Adult, Marriage and Family Psychotherapy Counseling Services in San Diego, California.
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  • Welcome
  • About Thrive
    • Meet the Thrive Team >
      • Dr. Erica Wollerman
      • Dr. Maria Fowlks
      • Jennifer Gonzalez, LMFT
      • Ying-Ying Shiue, LPCC
      • Kim Macias, APCC
      • Dr. Andrea Seldomridge
      • Molly Llamas, AMFT
      • Abbey Stewart, AMFT
    • Appointment Information
  • Contact
  • Services
    • Group Therapy at Thrive >
      • Anxiety Group For Teens
      • Parent Support Group
      • Middle School Social-Emotional Processing Group
      • Young Adults Group (18-24)
    • Therapy for Children
    • Therapy for Teens and Young Adults
    • Therapy for Adults
    • Family Therapy
    • Parent Consultation
  • Resources
    • Information About Therapy
    • Academic Resources
    • San Diego Resources
    • Covid-19 Resources
    • Anti-Racism Resources
    • Recommended Reading
    • Resources for Specific Challenges >
      • Addiction and Recovery Information
      • ADHD
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism/Developmental Disorders
      • Child Abuse and Domestic Violence
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders/Body Image Issues
      • Personal Growth/Managing Perfectionism
      • LGBTQIA
      • Parenting
      • Relationships
      • Stress Management/Mindfulness
      • Teen Issues
  • Blog