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 By: Dr. Erica Wollerman Learning to own our mistakes and be held accountable for them has to be one of the most difficult and painful lessons in life. I also believe that it is one of the most important lessons, particularly for our children and teens. Often, accountability and honesty in light of mistakes and failure is a goal for parents for their children. However, we need to first model this behavior and make it a goal for us as parents. We need to recognize that we are going to screw up as parents, most likely frequently! And that when we screw up, it probably is going to hurt… We love our little ones more than anything but on a bad day, we yell at them or we say something we shouldn’t or we give them bad advice that well, goes badly for them. I could go on and on about the possible ways we are going to screw up. Newsflash parents, we aren’t perfect and we aren’t supposed to be! Do we want to be perfect parents, yes. Of course we do! Interestingly though, that would be entirely counterproductive for our kids and teens to learn about failure, mistakes, repairing relationships, and coping with our own humanity. So, when we fail, I encourage you to use it as a learning opportunity for yourself and for your kids. Own it. Acknowledge that you screwed up. And figure out how to fix it. Apologize, listen to your kid or teens side and experience, and let them know you recognize that you screwed up and will try to do better. Imagine if we lived in a world where we were all a bit more skilled at this. It would be amazing and we can be the change that leads to that world. I believe we can do it! At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n.  By: Dr. Erica Wollerman I thought for this week’s blog, it might be interesting to share about the books that I find myself coming back to again and again, both for my professional life and to help support my clients, but also because I find them to be really useful in my life! 1. Daring Greatly and Rising Strong – Brené Brown These are my two absolute favorite BrenéBrown books, and as many of you know I am a huge BrenéBrown fan. Well, groupee perhaps but that’s besides the point. These books are wonderful guides and resources in living a more authentic life, particularly if you identify as a perfectionist. 2. The Whole Brain Child – Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson This book is an excellent guide to understanding your child’s emotional and brain development, and how they influence each other. It gives a ton of simple interventions to use with your kid too! 3. Option B – Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant This is a great book about overcoming adversity and building resilience. I really appreciated the way that Sheryl shared about her own personal tragedy but used it to also help others understand how to overcome challenges in their lives. It’s well worth a read! 4. Bringing up Bebe – Pamela Druckerman As a new mom and someone who lived in France for a period in my younger days, I really appreciated this book. I often reflect on American Parenting and our challenges and found many things in this book helpful in my own parenting journey. 5. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** - Mark Manson No, this book is not about how you should not care about anything! It discusses how we need to choose what we care about and make sure those things line up with our values. This is very much so in line with my beliefs as a therapist and advice I give often. Definitely a great resource! 6. The first bonus podcast – “Where Do We Begin” by Esther Perell I am pretty much obsessed with this podcast. She meets with couples for one session and edits it somewhat before posting it as a podcast. She is an absolutely amazing couples therapist and I love hearing her perspective on the challenges couples are facing. I learn more about therapy and relationships every time I listen. 7. The second bonus podcast - "Conversations with People Who Hate Me" by Dylan Marron This podcast is newer to me but I have to say, I love it! Dylan interviews and talks with people who have sent him hateful messages online in response to his social justice videos and online presence. He does such a great job of trying to understand where the other person is coming from and facilitating a dialogue about issues, while still explaining his stance and reasons behind it. As a therapist, I am very impressed with how he communicates! I hope you find this list helpful! All of these books, authors, and therapists have such amazing messages and ways of communicating that I come back to them again and again. Hopefully you will too! At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child, teen, or adult psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. By: Lauren Spinelli, LCSW We all know about the importance of self-care - setting aside that “me time” to focus on improving our mental, emotional and physical health. However, between children, work, relationships, or just life in general, it can be hard to make it a priority and fit it into our busy lives. On average, people in the United States work almost 2,000 hours per year! That’s a lot! Since we are at our place of work so much, it’s important to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves while we’re there! Here are 5 easy, simple tips to weave self-care into your daily work routine! 1. Meditate Now, I’m not talking about setting aside thirty minutes or an hour in quiet room at work. That’s probably not possible...but I bet you have 16 seconds! That’s all it takes! 16 beautiful, simple seconds to clarity. Not only does it have a significant de-stressing impact in the moment, but it can also serve as the foundation for greater clarity of thought, heightened creativity, deeper intuition and aid in making better choices! Setting aside 16 seconds each day to meditate can actually change your brain waves and have a positive influence on your emotional health. Let’s try it right now! Observe your breath as you slowly inhale through your nostrils to the count of four. Then hold that breath in your belly to the count of four. Gently release the breath and follow it out to the count of four. Then hold the breath out to the count of four. Now return to regular breathing. 2. Schedule breaks Taking regular mental breaks throughout the day improves productivity and creativity. Long periods of concentration fatigue your brain, and giving it downtime restores your ability to problem solve and concentrate. Try to actually schedule multiple 5-10 minute breaks throughout your day. If you don’t put it in your calendar, it’s easy to skip it! Skipping these breaks and trying to plow through your work can leave you exhausted and stressed. 3. Drink water Did you know 75% of our brain is made up of water? Even the tiniest levels of dehydration can affect factors like your mood and cognitive functioning. Next time you feel that after-lunch sluggishness creeping up on you, there’s a good chance it’s due to dehydration! Actual amounts of water that you need vary person to person, but aim to drink 0.5 ounces of water per pound on a daily basis! Bring that water bottle to work and leave it on your desk so there’s no excuse! 4. Walk outside We spend about 2,000 hours a year at work, and most of that is inside at an office! Try to get outside during lunch, or even hold walking meetings. Have a phone call? Take it outside! A 2015 study done at Stanford University proved that being outside in nature “showed decreased activity in a region of the brain associated with a key factor in depression”. The study also found that that those who walked outside experienced less anxiety, rumination, and negative affect, as well as more positive emotions, such as happiness. 5. Ask for help We are all human. We all need help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and intelligence. Ensure you have a solid support system at work. You spend so much time there, it’s important to surround yourself with trusted colleagues! At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child, teen, or adult psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n.  At times, things seem to get really heavy for us as people and citizens of our country. Not only do we hear about horrible events day in and day out, but on both sides of the political fence, it seems that we are struggling to connect, agree, or even feel like the other “side” is worth connecting with. We are all so sure that we are right in our beliefs that we seem to only notice information that either supports our viewpoints, or information that is absolutely not true that we don’t agree with and are angry or upset about. And while this is typical for the way our brains work, something about the way social media and we as people interact, seems to fuel this disconnect. There is so much to be distressed about and we are often bombarded with this information that it can be difficult to know how to deal with it. With my own heavy heart this week, I thought it might be helpful to write a blog about how we can cope with our world.
Here are some of my ideas but I would love it if people wanted to share their own!
I hope that this list is helpful in some small way to some of you. The tension and heaviness in our world right now is real and has been ebbing and flowing as more things are being talked about that are difficult. It’s okay to take care of yourself during these times and during all times! At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. |
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