Once parents have made the decision to bring their child or teen to therapy, a very common concern they may have is about how they should tell their child or teen that this is happening. Parents rightfully understand that some kids will perceive attending therapy as a weakness, problem, or judgment that something is wrong with them. I have to say that unfortunately, there is still a huge stigma around attending therapy so this concern is a valid one in my eyes.
 
The good news is that parents have a lot of power in this situation to change the way therapy is viewed, by their child/teen but also other members of the family. Here are a few guidelines to help manage these conversations:
 

1. Talk about therapy as a positive thing. One of the best things parents can do is to talk about, and actually view, therapy as a positive thing. Frame it as an opportunity to get support from an adult who cares. What I usually make sure families and clients know is that therapy in itself is not about something being “wrong” but about understanding ourselves and working on challenges that we all have. Please do not use therapy as a threat of “If you don’t shape up, we will have to take you to therapy,” this only works against you if you do end up bringing your child or teen in as they will most likely be less responsive and feel that it is a punishment to get out of, rather than an opportunity to learn and improve. 
2. Share your positive experiences in therapy. If you are a parent who attends or has attended therapy, share that with your child or teen. Let them know that they are not alone in needing extra support from time to time. I would caution parents not to share too much about why they attended therapy, but just enough to let their child/teen know they are not alone.
3. Try not to overly focus on the reasons why you are bringing your child or teen to therapy. Please don’t tell them that you are bringing them because you think they have this problem or that problem. Tell them you want them to have a supportive adult besides you to talk to. Tell them that the time is theirs to use as they want to and to talk about what they would like. The less parents try to control therapy through their child or teen, the better their child or teen will respond.
4. Please don’t tell your child how much therapy is costing. This is a tough one but so important. Most children and teens realize that the services they receive cost money to some extent but the more this is emphasized, the more they feel pressure to “get better” as well as to not need therapy. While we do want our clients to feel better and resolve the issues that brought them to therapy, pressuring that goal does not help, particularly when it is financially motivated.

 
As a parent, I am confident you will find your own way to talk to your child or teen about attending therapy. Hopefully by using these guidelines, the conversation will go as well as possible!
If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy with one of us, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
 
If you would like to receive updated information about Thrive Therapy, please feel free to sign up for our newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. 

As a parent who has made the decision to bring your child or teen to therapy, you most likely will have lots of questions about the process of therapy itself. This is so understandable as often, therapy takes place behind closed doors and parents may not realize that they are entitled to ask as many questions about what is happening as they would like! 
 
At Thrive, we all practice slightly differently so I will try to outline the different possibilities of what to expect but I would like to emphasize that all of our therapists will answer your questions about the process of therapy. All questions are okay with us as we want parents to feel informed, involved, and comfortable! 
 
Usually, at the very first appointment, I personally prefer to meet with parents alone so that we can talk very freely about what is going on with the child or teen and family system. At this appointment, we will talk about family history, your child/teen’s developmental history, current concerns, past treatments, and generally I am trying to get a feel for what is going on in the situation so that I can also make recommendations and give you some guidance as to what therapy will look like for your family/teen/child. At this appointment, I will usually describe what I think the best path forward will be, similar to what some may call a more formal treatment plan. I will also encourage parent questions as I want to make sure from the beginning that we are all on the same page.
 
Next, I will plan on meeting with the child or teen alone for the next appointment so that we can start getting to know each other and building our relationship. In that appointment, we are mostly just getting acquainted. With younger kids, this will likely involve playing games or with toys in our play therapy space while I ask them questions and get a feel for their personality and what strategies might work best to help them. With older kids, this will likely involve more of talking and asking questions, as it would for an adult. Generally, I am assessing the child or teen’s openness to work on the challenges they are experiencing so that I can do what is called “meeting them where they are at.” This is therapy speak for not pushing a client too fast or too far when they are not ready. We try to assess where a client is in the process of making changes and meet them there. As time goes on, we then will push and challenge a bit more as we feel we have a strong relationship with that client.
 
Throughout the process of therapy, we will use lots of different strategies in session. I usually like to meet with parents periodically, at times separately from the child/teen, so that we can talk about how things are progressing and share more about how parents can support their child/teen as well as make sure that parents continue to feel involved and informed as to the process of therapy. I hear from parents at times that in the past, the therapists that they have taken their kids to did not share anything with them during treatment. That is not something I typically support (except in very particular situations, which I always talk to parents about as soon as possible) because parents can give us a lot of helpful feedback and are an important part of the process.
 
So, at Thrive, we involve parents in treatment as the rule, rather than the exception to the rule!  In fact, some of our clinicians will involve parents to check in before or after session or involve them in joint sessions with their child or teen. A few of our clinicians will involve parents and children together in the initial appointment and use more of a free flowing method to treatment where sometimes the child or teen is in session, sometimes the parent, and sometimes both. This flexibility works so well for some of our families that I am honored to have clinicians who work in this way! 
 
As you can tell, the most important thing is for parents to ask questions and make sure that they are on the same page with their therapist. Therapy works well when the whole family and therapist are on the same page as to what the goals are and how we are accomplishing them. When trying to find a therapist for your child/teen/family, please make sure to ask questions to understand that therapist’s process and make sure you feel that it is a good fit! 
 
At Thrive, we are fortunate to have a variety of therapists who I am confidence will be able to meet most families’ needs!  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy with one of us, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304.
 
If you would like to receive updated information about Thrive Therapy, please feel free to sign up for our newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n.