By: Dr. Erica WollermanIf you have browsed our website to check out the services that we offer at Thrive, you may have noticed a section discussing parent consultation. Our passion for working with and supporting parents is a big part of what separates Thrive Therapy from other child and teen therapy providers, who may focus more just on the child or teen rather than the whole family system. Since parent consultation is a service that is lesser known than individual or family therapy, I thought it might be helpful to share a bit about what parent consultation is and when it might be beneficial for you. First, parent consultation can be a separate service for parents or something incorporated into their own individual therapy or their child/teen’s therapy services. Often, when I am working with adults who happen to also be parents, we spend some of our sessions talking about their child or teen and how they are feeling about parenting, questions they may have, or how to best support their child/teen. When I work with children/teen clients, I also really like for parents to have a check in parent session with me around once a month or once every few months. This helps make sure that we are all on the same page and parents are feeling involved and supported as well. When meeting for parent consultation sessions, you can definitely expect that we may discuss some things about your parenting approach or style that could be changed or improved. The really great thing about the way we work at Thrive though is that these recommendations come from a place of caring and wanting parents to feel more effective as parents, not ever from a place of judgment or criticism. At Thrive, we feel that everyone, including parents, kids, teens, are doing the best they can. We strive to help everyone in a family build understanding of each other and communicate effectively. Sometimes this might take dramatic parenting style changes – for example, setting more or less limits with your child/teen – and while this may be difficult, it is so rewarding to see the changes that can happen when all parties are open to it! Here is a brief list of situations/challenges where parent consultation can be helpful:
In all of the above situations, parent consultation sessions can be enormously beneficial in helping parents manage their child’s behavior more effectively, regain confidence as a parent, feel supported, and improve your connection with your child/teen. At Thrive, we love supporting parents through these kinds of challenges and only wish that more parents took advantage of the support we can offer! If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy or parent consultation sessions with one of us, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. If you would like to receive updated information about Thrive Therapy, please feel free to sign up for our newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. By: Dr. Erica WollermanOnce parents have made the decision to bring their child or teen to therapy, a very common concern they may have is about how they should tell their child or teen that this is happening. Parents rightfully understand that some kids will perceive attending therapy as a weakness, problem, or judgment that something is wrong with them. I have to say that unfortunately, there is still a huge stigma around attending therapy so this concern is a valid one in my eyes.
The good news is that parents have a lot of power in this situation to change the way therapy is viewed, by their child/teen but also other members of the family. Here are a few guidelines to help manage these conversations:
As a parent, I am confident you will find your own way to talk to your child or teen about attending therapy. Hopefully by using these guidelines, the conversation will go as well as possible! If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy with one of us, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. If you would like to receive updated information about Thrive Therapy, please feel free to sign up for our newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. By: Dr. Erica WollermanAs a parent who has made the decision to bring your child or teen to therapy, you most likely will have lots of questions about the process of therapy itself. This is so understandable as often, therapy takes place behind closed doors and parents may not realize that they are entitled to ask as many questions about what is happening as they would like!
At Thrive, we all practice slightly differently so I will try to outline the different possibilities of what to expect but I would like to emphasize that all of our therapists will answer your questions about the process of therapy. All questions are okay with us as we want parents to feel informed, involved, and comfortable! Usually, at the very first appointment, I personally prefer to meet with parents alone so that we can talk very freely about what is going on with the child or teen and family system. At this appointment, we will talk about family history, your child/teen’s developmental history, current concerns, past treatments, and generally I am trying to get a feel for what is going on in the situation so that I can also make recommendations and give you some guidance as to what therapy will look like for your family/teen/child. At this appointment, I will usually describe what I think the best path forward will be, similar to what some may call a more formal treatment plan. I will also encourage parent questions as I want to make sure from the beginning that we are all on the same page. Next, I will plan on meeting with the child or teen alone for the next appointment so that we can start getting to know each other and building our relationship. In that appointment, we are mostly just getting acquainted. With younger kids, this will likely involve playing games or with toys in our play therapy space while I ask them questions and get a feel for their personality and what strategies might work best to help them. With older kids, this will likely involve more of talking and asking questions, as it would for an adult. Generally, I am assessing the child or teen’s openness to work on the challenges they are experiencing so that I can do what is called “meeting them where they are at.” This is therapy speak for not pushing a client too fast or too far when they are not ready. We try to assess where a client is in the process of making changes and meet them there. As time goes on, we then will push and challenge a bit more as we feel we have a strong relationship with that client. Throughout the process of therapy, we will use lots of different strategies in session. I usually like to meet with parents periodically, at times separately from the child/teen, so that we can talk about how things are progressing and share more about how parents can support their child/teen as well as make sure that parents continue to feel involved and informed as to the process of therapy. I hear from parents at times that in the past, the therapists that they have taken their kids to did not share anything with them during treatment. That is not something I typically support (except in very particular situations, which I always talk to parents about as soon as possible) because parents can give us a lot of helpful feedback and are an important part of the process. So, at Thrive, we involve parents in treatment as the rule, rather than the exception to the rule! In fact, some of our clinicians will involve parents to check in before or after session or involve them in joint sessions with their child or teen. A few of our clinicians will involve parents and children together in the initial appointment and use more of a free flowing method to treatment where sometimes the child or teen is in session, sometimes the parent, and sometimes both. This flexibility works so well for some of our families that I am honored to have clinicians who work in this way! As you can tell, the most important thing is for parents to ask questions and make sure that they are on the same page with their therapist. Therapy works well when the whole family and therapist are on the same page as to what the goals are and how we are accomplishing them. When trying to find a therapist for your child/teen/family, please make sure to ask questions to understand that therapist’s process and make sure you feel that it is a good fit! At Thrive, we are fortunate to have a variety of therapists who I am confidence will be able to meet most families’ needs! If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy with one of us, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. If you would like to receive updated information about Thrive Therapy, please feel free to sign up for our newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. By: Dr. Erica WollermanMaking the decision to start therapy for your child or teen is usually a pretty difficult one for parents riddled with concerns about a variety of things… Does this mean something is “wrong” with my child? Will my child think something is wrong with them? Are they just going to complain about me? Will therapy even help them with the things I want it to help them with? And the list goes on, and on, and on!
As a child/teen therapist, I get these questions a lot and while I understand where the questions come from and the concerns parents have, I as a therapist am also, unsurprisingly, pretty pro-therapy. I believe that any and all of us can benefit from therapy and that going to therapy does not mean that anything is necessarily “wrong” with us or with our lives. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore ourselves, our lives, our reactions, and can provide us with a supportive person to walk with us through life’s challenges. I also think that children and teens respond particularly well to having an unbiased adult in their lives who can talk through situations and challenges in a way that parents, coaches, and teachers just can’t. So, I generally think that anytime is a good time to start therapy, but I thought a nice list of reasons to start might help parents make this decision!
As I mentioned previously, as a therapist, I am definitely pro-therapy as you may have noticed through this blog! I will always recommend that it is better to call in and talk with a therapist about your family, child, or teen and see if they think therapy could be beneficial, rather than wait and let problems or challenges manifest into more problems or challenges. However, it is important to note that at my office, we are conservative in diagnosing children and teens (meaning we do not jump quickly to labeling and diagnosing unless those diagnoses are truly warranted) and that we will let you know if we feel your child or teen does not need services. So, just because you make the call as a parent, does not mean that you are signing your child or teen up for a lifetime of therapy!! If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy with one of us, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. If you would like to receive updated information about Thrive Therapy, please feel free to sign up for our newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. |
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