Child, Teen and Adult Psychotherapy Services in San Diego
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What’s the deal with expecting teens to be so productive?

7/24/2020

 
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It’s so hard to believe that it is already July and by the time this blog posts, it will be almost August. Time has been an interesting element during the pandemic in that most of the people I know personally and professionally have noticed that time is passing in such a strange way lately. All at once, it feels like the longest year of our lives and then it also feels like everything is on pause and how on earth could it be almost back to school time???? Anyways, time is strange lately and I’d be remiss not to mention that in a blog post about how teens and young adults are doing these days. 

When the pandemic began, I remember thinking that one positive byproduct of everyone having to be home for the time being was that the pace of life for our kids would slow down a bit. While I think that has certainly been challenging in some ways, a lot of teens have been feeling less stressed due to having less demands on their time and more down time overall. Some even have enjoyed being out of the peer relationships that can be so challenging at times in schools. 

As someone who has commented a lot about how the current climate of our world puts so much pressure on teens and young adults, I was glad to see some of them leaning into relaxation and doing things they enjoy more. I noticed that they seemed less anxious and often less depressed which has also been a welcome change. 

Interestingly though, it seems that a lot of parents are struggling to allow their kids to just relax and try to get through the pandemic by coping through the fun things that are still permitted like video games, TV, reading, hanging out with friends from a distance, etc. Some kids and teens also still feel the need to be productive and do as much as possible. While options are limited, it’s interesting to observe how uncomfortable it has been for a lot of people to have down time and to not work towards a linear, future oriented, academic or professional goal.

This pattern has led me to become very curious about our society and why we are just so darn focused on productivity and linear achievements. Particularly as someone who is much more invested in who my clients are and how they feel about their lives and themselves, what we do, while important, seems just less important particularly when it comes to coping during a situation like a pandemic. 

I believe that while most of the world is on pause in a sense, many of us are struggling with the idea of putting our productivity on pause. That somehow by just taking it easy, we might lose some of our momentum and ability to accomplish great things. 

Perhaps we can reframe this situation as an opportunity, rather than a loss of productivity. 

Perhaps we can reframe it as an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what we like to do when we don’t have external pressures of the world and its’ machine-like focus on accomplishing things. 

Perhaps as adults, we can model for kids and teens how to just “be” rather than to always “do.” 

To do this, we might need to learn how to be more still and allow ourselves to just follow our passions. We might need to put our to-do lists aside and just let our days develop, rather than be so scheduled. For anyone who is able to do this (as I am well aware some people are still working!), I'd encourage you to give it a try and to lean into the uncertainty around a lack of a plan or lack of a checklist of accomplishments. I would be curious what is waiting for you on the other side!  Maybe you can learn more about yourself and your passions. I find that often there is a level of growth that comes from a paradigm shift that you just can’t find without the destabilization that comes from the shift.  While uncomfortable and challenging, this is a worthwhile endeavor just like all of our to do list items. I would encourage parents to also allow their kids to just be for a while. After all, many of them may not have an opportunity to do that for quite some time!

​At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

5 Tips on Engaging in Telehealth

7/16/2020

 
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Since our office will continue to offer solely telehealth therapy sessions for the foreseeable future due to the current pandemic, I wanted to share some tips about how to help yourself or your child/teen get the most out of their session. 

While some people have been reluctant to try out telehealth (video) therapy sessions - including us as therapists - we have noticed that overall we have been able to adapt our sessions to work well using video as our platform. 

We think that it will help you out to also try to follow some of these tips and suggestions! 

  • Just give it a try - Even if you are feeling reluctant to engage in video sessions, I would encourage you to try at least one to see if you might like it more than you think. For example, I  had always preferred to have in person visits with my clients and even my own therapist, but in this situation, it has been such a blessing not to have to worry about the possibility of one of us being sick or spreading the virus amongst us. I have been grateful to be able to continue working with my therapist and my clients despite the health risks of being in an office together!  My clients have said the same thing, that while they would prefer in person sessions, this is the best path forward for now and meets their needs just as well as in person sessions. 

  • Finding a private space before session -  Since privacy can also be a challenge in some families’ homes, make sure to figure out where you will have your session so that you do have privacy for the session. Feel free to get creative too - we have families who are having sessions in a car, on a walk, closet, or who are using music or white noise to help drown out their voices and keep their information private. Even for younger clients, we recommend they have privacy for their sessions. 

  • Set up your space ahead of time - It will always be helpful if you can make sure to find a comfortable place for your session prior to the session. Making sure that you are settled in and have water and anything you might need will help you stay focused during the session. Along these lines, it is helpful to try to minimize distractions prior to beginning. Maybe you can turn off notifications on your phone or computer and make sure you are in a quiet space. 

  • Make sure you have charged your devices - While this might sound basic, make sure to have your devices charged and maybe even have a back up one handy just in case. While our technology is working well most of the time, it is not perfect so having a phone as a backup option might be a good idea in case the video is not working properly at first. If we are having technical issues, please be patient as we are all working on this together!  Please also communicate any challenges you are feeling about technology or video sessions with your therapist. While we do not plan to offer in person sessions anytime soon, we are open to feedback about how to make video sessions more effective! 

  • Check in with us about your child or teen - It is certainly strange for us to be working with kids and teens in such a private setting as we are often used to checking in briefly with parents prior to or at the end of session. Even just a quick hello in the waiting room was nice to make sure we were connected to the whole family. If you are feeling disconnected from your child’s therapist, make sure to reach out to them to talk about it and find a way to check in. I have some families who email me in between sessions and others where I call the parent for the last 15 minutes of the session to check in. We would rather find a plan that works for you to feel supported and connected than for you to feel frustrated or unhappy about how things are going. 

While the pandemic has certainly been difficult to adjust to and manage for all of us, we at Thrive are so grateful for our clients and ability to support them during this difficult time. If you are struggling with stress, anxiety, depression, parenting, or how you are adjusting to the pandemic, please don’t hesitate to reach out to one of us for help. These are truly unprecedented and unpredictable times in our world and I believe that going through it less alone will help.

​At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

Why Thrive will keep doing telehealth for the time being

7/10/2020

 
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As I sit alone in my office, as I have for months now during the Covid19 pandemic, I have thought a lot about Thrive’s options going forward in terms of how to provide the best care for our clients and community. I have debated with myself about the idea of reopening for in person sessions and talked with my team at length about it. I have felt sad even at the lack of activity in an office that I designed and decorated to be a safe space for both our clients and our team. 

The decisions that business owners are having to make in light of the pandemic are truly challenging for all of us. While I do not have any right to comment on what any other office is doing, nor am I interested in doing so, it is my job at Thrive to lead us in the best way possible right now for our team, our clients, and our greater community. 

As such, we are not planning to reopen our office to in person sessions anytime soon. So, I thought I would write a blog post to share more with our readers as to why we have come to this conclusion. 


  • First and foremost, we want to protect our clients and prioritize our relationships with our clients. Many people, and therapists, would prefer to have more in person contact right now. I completely understand that desire and feel that way myself. However, I feel such a strong responsibility to our clients at Thrive that I do not want to take the risk that someone would be exposed to this at times very dangerous illness at our office. I personally would not want to live with the guilt I would feel about that and also feel it is my ethical responsibility to protect our clients from having to make the choice about in person or telehealth sessions. For now, I will make the hard choice to keep us in the “telehealth only plan” until the data suggests another approach would work and protect our clients. 
 
  • We can do our jobs and support our clients remotely while others can’t. Our team has been thrilled with how our clients are responding to telehealth and have adjusted to meeting in this way. We were concerned about how we would all adjust and now that we are pretty much managing well, it makes sense to continue particularly because some people are not able to do their jobs remotely. We would hate for our clients to have to choose between coming to see us and another person they need to see in person. By making the choice for our office to stay virtual, they can see both of us and limit exposure. 
 
  • We believe in limiting our exposure to other people in order to control the spread of Covid19. Particularly since the virus seems to spread best indoors in small spaces over prolonged exposure, it makes sense to reduce our exposure to other people. In a small office like ours, it would be difficult to guarantee distance and we would prefer for our clients to be comfortable during our sessions rather than worried about how many other people have breathed the same air or sat in their spots on the couch that day/week. As therapists, we work hard to cultivate a safe space for our clients. Unfortunately, being in close proximity to others who don’t live with us does not feel safe at this time and would most likely hinder the therapeutic relationships we have worked hard to build. 
 
  • We don’t believe we can control the choices anyone else is making and want to reduce the impact of community spread. ​As therapists, it is not our job to judge what others are doing with their lives and how they are making their choices. If we invited people back to our office it would be hard to mitigate the reactions we might have when others are making choices we are not ready for. And vice versa. For example, I have chosen to send my son back to daycare so that we can go back to working more normal hours. My clients might not feel comfortable with this and might not want to be exposed to those germs and have every right to feel that way. While we are all in this together, it is preferable in the interest of our relationships with our clients not to be sharing the same germs to avoid negative impacts on those relationships. 
 
  • We want to be a consistent form of support. The adjustment to working remotely was definitely a challenge for all of us. Now that most of us are finding some level of comfort and rhythm in this new routine, I would hate to have our team and our clients adjust to working in person only to have to move to remote sessions and adjust all over again. We would rather be a consistent form of support our clients appreciate while the world feels so unmanageable and ever-changing. 
 
  • Our licensing boards and professional associations still recommend that we continue with telehealth. While Thrive is multidisciplinary in our team, our boards and professional associations are all in agreement with the premise that we should continue with telehealth for now unless there are extremely compelling reasons to return to in person sessions. In our field, it is important that we follow the standard of care for our clients’ best interests. 
 
  • The data does not support us reopening. Unfortunately, Covid19 cases are increasing and as such, it seems prudent to wait until a time when cases have decreased and we can provide some level of safety for in person sessions. 

We appreciate our clients so much and their willingness to hang in there with us during this difficult time. I know that it is not easy to follow all of the social distancing guidelines and maintain our mental health, both collectively and individually. If our office staying closed allows you to see a close friend or family member with less risk, I’m happy to have helped in this way. For those who are struggling with telehealth sessions and are wanting to jump right back in, please know that I care about you as well and that we will do our best to make that decision to work together in person when it makes sense and we can guarantee that you (and your loved ones) are safe with us. 

​At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

How can parents squeeze in more alone time?

7/3/2020

 
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I know that when I had the realization about my toddler, my lovely but also monstrous at times toddler, that he just doesn’t leave our house anymore. It helped me recognize what I was needing a lot more of, which is a little bit of time alone where I don’t have to take care of anyone but me.

I’m sure we have all seen, and laughed at, the posts on Insta and Facebook about parents going to great lengths to get some time alone these days. Like the one about sending your kids in another room to look for a toy you have in your pocket?  I definitely laughed and then realized that maybe we should all pool together ideas that parents are using to help themselves get a bit of alone time while we are all home together so much more.

Here are some of my ideas and strategies I have been using:

  • Taking Turns – if you have a partner at home who can help with things like bedtime, bath, or even homework – taking turns can be immensely helpful. I feel like what I used to get from a “date night” where we didn’t have to worry about putting our son to bed, is now replicated by getting 30 minutes extra time to myself in a day.
  • Long drives – I know several families that have started having one parent take the kids on a drive to get them out of the house as well as let the other parent have some time alone at the house. And if kids are able to get some sort of treat along the way (screen time, ice cream, maybe a contactless pickup at a favorite restaurant or store?), they will likely also be happy customers!
  • Playing in the car – One of my son’s favorite things to do is to play in our cars in the driveway. He just loves to pretend to drive so for Mother’s Day, my husband took him to his car for about 20 minutes so I had some unplanned alone time in the house to relax. It was amazing!
  • Walks alone – I have been taking my son on walks every day during this time but on weekends, I like to go alone so that I can either catch up with a friend or listen to a favorite podcast (PS if you need a recommendation, I highly recommend “Unlocking Us” by Brene Brown.
  • Babysitter after bedtime – I know a friend who has started letting a babysitter come over after her kids are in bed so that she and her husband can go for a walk and just spend some time alone out of the house. This might be a good solution for families who do not feel entirely ready to invite someone else in their “social distancing circle” but who need some time together and away from home.
  • Sleeping in – While this one might be obvious to many; I think trying to take turns sleeping in is also super helpful!  I personally, like to get up early to have some time alone to start the day but for other parents, having that time to rest might help even more!
  • “Alone time” – for families with young or elementary aged kids, incorporating some time that is designated for family members to have quiet time alone will be helpful. This almost mimics naptime for younger kids but can be explained as some time to just relax and complete something alone so that you can be ready to be engaged as a family again after.
  • Keeping a schedule – I know a lot of families in the beginning of this situation treated it much like a vacation with more flexible everything – flexible screen time, flexible bedtimes, flexible scheduling in general. While I think that is great and likely helped in the beginning, I also think it is important to think about the cost of that choice. If you used to love having an hour or two after the kids went to bed to be alone or with your spouse, it’s probably a good idea to start working towards re-instating your old routines so that you can have that time back.
 
These are just a few ideas I had!  I’d love to hear more in the comments and for parents to share out of the box ways to get some time alone. Also, I want to remind everyone that it is perfectly natural to struggle without having time alone… If you have an ideal version of yourself as a parent who is always kind, patient, and loving and also around your kids 24/7 – you might be struggling with that as it is entirely unrealistic. In order to help ourselves be the best, most intentional versions of our parenting selves, we likely need some time to recharge our batteries and regroup. Especially during hard days and unfortunately, during a pandemic, there is just no shortage of hard days!

​At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients.  If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. 
 
As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio.  
 
To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: 
http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.

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Thrive Therapy Studio
5230 Carroll Canyon Rd. Ste 110
​San Diego, CA 92121
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Thrive Therapy Studio Therapists Offer Child, Teen, Adult, Marriage and Family Psychotherapy Counseling Services in San Diego, California.
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  • Welcome
  • About Thrive
    • Meet the Thrive Team >
      • Dr. Erica Wollerman
      • Dr. Maria Fowlks
      • Jennifer Gonzalez, LMFT
      • Ying-Ying Shiue, LPCC
      • Kim Macias, APCC
      • Dr. Andrea Seldomridge
      • Molly Llamas, AMFT
      • Abbey Stewart, AMFT
    • Appointment Information
  • Contact
  • Services
    • Group Therapy at Thrive >
      • Anxiety Group For Teens
      • Parent Support Group
      • Middle School Social-Emotional Processing Group
      • Young Adults Group (18-24)
    • Therapy for Children
    • Therapy for Teens and Young Adults
    • Therapy for Adults
    • Family Therapy
    • Parent Consultation
  • Resources
    • Information About Therapy
    • Academic Resources
    • San Diego Resources
    • Covid-19 Resources
    • Anti-Racism Resources
    • Recommended Reading
    • Resources for Specific Challenges >
      • Addiction and Recovery Information
      • ADHD
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism/Developmental Disorders
      • Child Abuse and Domestic Violence
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders/Body Image Issues
      • Personal Growth/Managing Perfectionism
      • LGBTQIA
      • Parenting
      • Relationships
      • Stress Management/Mindfulness
      • Teen Issues
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