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By: Panicha Sillapawatayanon, M.A.  Why Do I Feel Unhappy After Having My Baby?
Having a baby can be both exciting and exhausting at the same time. Babies can bring tons of joy, but the transition into parenthood is not easy. You may find yourself feeling worried, irritable, or crying over little things. All of these feelings are normal during the first couple of weeks after childbirth. About 80% of new moms experience what they call “baby blues”. So what causes baby blues and what can I do? Baby blues can occur because of the rapid changes your body undergoes after birth. Physically, your hormone levels quickly drop causing mood swings and exhaustion. Emotionally, your baby requires a lot from you and adjusting to a new way of life can be overwhelming. Baby blues usually go away on their own within 2 weeks, but extra support is always helpful. Sleep deprivation makes baby blues worse, so it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. This is easier said than done with a new baby of course! Don’t be afraid to ask family members or friends for help because even a small nap can make a difference! If you have a partner, lean on them for support. Also, light exercises daily such as walking around the neighborhood have been shown to elevate your mood (don’t forget to check-in with your doctor, especially if you’ve had a C-section). One of the most common concerns I hear from new moms is the anxiety and worry about being a good mom and the fear that this is all what motherhood will be. Connecting with other new moms is an amazing resource and can provide a level of comfort. Many community agencies and hospitals offer new mom groups oriented towards emotional support for women facing similar experiences. What if my baby blues lasts longer than 2 weeks? If your baby blues become more intense and you feel this way for longer than 2 weeks after giving birth, you might be dealing with postpartum depression. The difference between baby blues and postpartum depression is with postpartum depression, these feelings of sadness can be extreme and interfere with the mother’s ability to care for herself or her family. There’s not a single cause for postpartum depression and it doesn’t happen because of something a mother does or doesn’t do. This condition actually affects nearly 15% of all mothers that have given birth regardless of whether it is her firstborn or not. According to the National Institute of Health, some common symptoms of postpartum depression are:
Only a healthcare provider or mental health professional can diagnose and treat postpartum depression. Without treatment, postpartum depression can last for months or years. If you or someone you know is experiencing some of these symptoms, it is important to seek help right away. At Thrive Therapy Studio, we’re here to help support you and help you heal and we love supporting parents, especially new parents! We are currently offering new mom group therapy as well as individual therapy for postpartum depression, anxiety, and just general parenting or adjustment challenges. Check out our parent group information here. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around parenting, child, or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n.  By: Panicha Sillapawatayanon, M.A. We live in a world saturated with insta-models, selfies, filters, and fillers. There is a growing number of teenage girls and young women that are unhappy with the way they look and feel. According to research, self-esteem for girls continues to decline during their teenage years. Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves, and with high self-esteem comes behaviors that clearly reflect them. Teenagers with high self-esteem will be able to tolerate frustration, manage their emotions, take pride in their accomplishments, become independent, and assume responsibility. On the other hand, teenagers, particularly girls, with lower self-esteem become vulnerable to the ideal body image portrayed by the media, develop social anxiety, depression, and have difficulty managing their emotions. Low self-esteem can easily carry into adulthood and interfere with future relationships and a life that is both healthy and fulfilling.
It’s time to focus on shaping our daughters into strong, independent women who will exude confidence and take over the world. So, what can parents do to encourage their daughters to build confidence in their abilities? Here are a few ways you can start planting seeds of positive self-esteem in your daughter today: 1.Model self-acceptance Use yourself as a role-model for positive self-image. Asking questions such as “Does this make me look fat?” or putting your own image down can have a huge image on your own daughter’s self-image. Lead by example. Practice daily affirmations and refrain from comparisons and self-criticisms. This will help give yourself a self-esteem boost too. Be supportive and not critical, simply listen to what they have to say instead of giving your opinion. Believe it or not, they actually listen to what you are saying! 2.Praise her abilities and not her looks It’s very easy to fall into praising how beautiful she is, or how gorgeous her luscious locks look. Our culture has trained us to praise girls on their appearance but not their abilities. Challenge yourself to compliment your daughter on her abilities twice as much as you compliment her on her appearance. Perhaps praise her on her achievements, skills, and talents. Remember, it’s what she DOES that really matters. Bonus points if you do the same with all the other girls (nieces, your daughter’s friends, other women in the family). 3.Let her have a say If want our daughters to be a good decision maker in that executive position then she will need practice. Let her have a say in appropriate decision-making matters whether it is about how to divide up the chores or how to spend family vacation time. It’s not about giving free reign, but it’s about involving them in making a decision and learning how to deal with the consequences. Teach her that her opinions matter. Teach her howto think and not whatto think. 4.Paddling her own canoe This goes along with giving your daughter a say in decision making matters. Help her build resilience for life’s later challenges by letting her struggle but empathizing with her when she faces the consequences. If you create a perfect utopia of a childhood, she will have a difficult time handling adversity. Girls are often portrayed as a damsel in distress, or a princess that needs saving. It’s important for her to know she’s capable of dealing with difficult situations on her own and you will be there to support her in the aftermath. Remember it’s about finding her own way, not having her own way. 5.Physical Activity She doesn’t have to learn how to surf or take up horse-riding (well unless she wants to!). Exercising is a great way to increase feel-good hormones such as endorphins. It could be as simple as taking a walk or going hiking together. Taking care of your own body teaches self-respect. It’ll also give you a chance to take care of yourself as well. It’s impossible to be an unwavering and confident woman all the time, but you can start showing your daughter how to love and care for herself by trying some of the ideas above. Raising a confident young woman is a long-term process. We’ve been instilled to speak or behave a certain way, so it’s okay if some days you accidently say things like “boys will be boys” or “that’s more ladylike”. Don’t give up! Perhaps practice some of these things for yourself first before you use them with your daughter (it’ll be a confidence booster, get it?). Thrive Therapy Studio is now offering a Teen Girls Anxiety group. Topics of interest include perfectionism, school and social challenges, managing stress, and expectations. Check out the group description here. Call us today to reserve a spot for your teen daughter! If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/cvGx5n. |
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