By: Dr. Erica Wollerman
As many of you know, I have been writing for several weeks now about my thoughts on becoming a parent, from my experience as a child psychologist and parenting consultant. For this last blog in the series, I thought it might be helpful to compile a list of the things that I am hoping to remember once I am a mom in a few short weeks.
1. “It’s not about me.”
This is a big one still in my mind as it essentially boils down to the fact that my child’s behavior is not always a reaction to me or something I should take personally. The biggest reason this is on my list is that I see parents often personalizing their child or teen’s behavior when often, the behavior is developmental in nature, a result of them trying to figure out how to manage their emotions, or other triggers (lack of sleep, hunger, over-stimulation). I hope to remember this in my parenting ahead!
2. Making sure I am aware of my mom shame and when it is triggered.
I think it is going to be crucial for me to learn how to manage my sensitivity around wanting to do this big, new job really well and well, how others’ opinions and judgments might not always be in line with my own parenting philosophy.
3. Let my kid(s) fail.
This is also a huge one for me as it is something that I believe in so whole-heartedly that I want to embrace failure and mistakes and help my kids not only experience their own mistakes/failures but to grow and learn from them. The flip side to this is that I do recognize how difficult it will be to do this! That’s a big part of why it’s on my list!
4. What is happening in one moment, stage is not necessarily going to be forever.
I want to hold tight to the fact that we are all evolving and to allow my kid(s) to evolve and change over time. Plus, I also want to make sure I slow down and appreciate the beautiful moments and experiences even when things are super chaotic, frustrating, and upsetting!
Thank you all again for reading! As always, I appreciate any feedback all of you have for me! Oh and a fun little trick, you can click on the number and title for each section above to return to the original blog post and read more about my thoughts on each section!
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