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 By: Dr. Erica WollermanThe Surprising Benefits of Embracing Challenges ~ Why a therapist takes cold showers? What you also might be wondering is, why on earth am I writing about this? Trust me, it applies to more than just my personal shower habits :) Apparently, cold showers are all the rage in the athletic/physical recovery space these days, and believe me, the athletic and the therapeutic spaces are often quite different. So, it was interesting to me when these worlds seemed to combine. I was introduced to the idea of cold showers years ago, for boosting immunity from a friend. I didn’t really think much about this as I was newly 25 and, well, didn’t feel this was entirely necessary. Now, at the age of 41, I will do almost anything to help my body recover and heal from the random and chronic injuries I get. Because of this and my husband’s interest in all things related to health and wellness, I now have tried and routinely use cryotherapy, infrared sauna, and daily cold showers. While I started doing these things to try and help my body feel better as I have somewhat chronic back and knee pain, plus frequent headaches, the results have been much more interesting than I expected. What I have found is that, for me, there is something extremely liberating about choosing discomfort and trying to enjoy it. Interestingly, I have never been one to enjoy any kind of discomfort. As a kid, I was very sensitive to textures (among other things), and I am still pretty sensitive to my internal experiences, physical or emotional, and at times those same external experiences (noise, lights, textures). So, it is quite surprising to those who know me that I am choosing to do something that is clearly uncomfortable. Honestly, that has been the best part. It reminds me of how I can choose to do hard things and get through them. It reminds me of my strength, grit, and perseverance. In five minutes a day, I get to boost my mood and confidence that all situations are temporary. Plus, I listen to some of my favorite songs while I listen and try to entertain myself by singing along. It’s become my own personal “pregame pump-up song.” Even more interesting, is that this practice has actually helped inform my work and even found its way into my clinical recommendations. Because, not only does choosing something uncomfortable help boost your confidence, but it can also help you manage anxiety and can boost your mood. I am a therapist who tends to avoid “quick fix” ideas for my clients, but this one actually seems remarkably helpful in learning to tolerate discomfort. Since avoidance of discomfort is the root of many challenges that make their way into my office, it has been a serendipitous experience. So, while you may prefer to challenge yourself in other ways, I would recommend that you do choose challenging things as often as possible. Just to help you learn that it will be okay and that you are tougher than you think. Perhaps you will choose to do something else uncomfortable, such as learning a new activity, taking a dance class, public speaking, or talking more to other parents at school drop-off. Whatever it is, try to remember that it is amazing that you are choosing to do something you would rather avoid. Similar to how I define bravery, as facing a fear (rather than the absence of fear), I would define choosing uncomfortable situations as a sign that you are a tough, resilient, capable person who can more than handle the things your life might throw at you other times. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By: Dr. Erica WollermanFirst blog of 2023… and yes, I know it’s March ;) I think it has been over a year since I last wrote a blog or any content for Thrive. Honestly, I typically love writing for our website and social media accounts. While a part of me has missed using this avenue to share information and thoughts with the world, part of me has been hiding. Hiding from the fact that the world feels so discouraging and difficult at times. Hiding from the fact that my schedule has become so busy that I have not had time to find the “most beautiful, perfect, nice framing” for the situations many of us are navigating. Hiding from the fact that sometimes, I don’t know what I am doing either. You see, the past year has been incredibly difficult for our world in a myriad of ways that it has been overwhelming to sit down and really sit with that reality in order to put together my thoughts, let alone my words. Additionally, with the growth of our practice, return to in-person sessions, and my own family’s challenges at times, it has been a lot to juggle logistically, let alone emotionally. However, recently, I have begun to cast away the ideals that I should have suggestions for people who are grappling with humanity and the terrible things we do to each other. And I have recognized that I do have things to share and my part to play in helping to make the world better. For those of you who know me, this is through my individual work with clients and parents but also, from time to time, in what I try to share with the general public in my content. So, here we are. Back to writing again. A bit rusty and clunky, but I feel that I need to show up however I am so that I can continue that purpose. Because though the parenting game is rigged, I believe we can make it a bit less anxiety provoking - not just for ourselves but for our kids. Kids and teens are struggling these days. They need us all to show up and put in some work to shift this parenting culture towards a better, more sustainable path. So anyways, I am back. It’s officially 2023, and while we are a few months in, I still wanted to share my word of intention for the year. Some of you may remember that I set a word each year in reflection on the past year and what I believe might help me weather the storms of the coming year. With all of the challenges of our world and the weight many of us are carrying witnessing tragedy after tragedy, I thought JOY would be a good intention. I could certainly use more joy in my life, and I am going to work to cultivate it. So far, this has sometimes been in letting myself lose myself in playing with my son again, and other times it has been through dancing to my old-school beats. I know it is late to share all of this, but really, who cares? Similar to what I encourage my clients to do, I am practicing what I preach and showing up as I am, very imperfectly so. You see, it is okay if we miss a day, a week, a month, or even a year in something that is important to us. What really matters is getting back into it. I will do my best to stop hiding and show up through writing again. Not just for you, dear reader, but for me too. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By: Dr. Andrea SeldonridgeAs a therapist who works with children, I have often been asked by parents what play therapy is, what its purpose of it is, and how it works. So, I hope to convey a bit about what play therapy actually looks like and the reasons why we use it! “Toys are children’s words and play is their language”. This is a commonly shared quote by Garry Landreth, a prominent play therapist. Play therapy is a form of therapy that is commonly used with children (but even adults can engage in play therapy too!). In typical therapy with adults, adults can verbalize their experiences, emotions, and needs. Children of course are often unable to do so, especially very young children. As many children are unable to put into words their experiences or communicate their needs or pain, play therapy is a way that they can do so that fits their developmental stage. No talking is required since play is a thorough method of communication! Play therapy is different from normal play. As a therapist stays attuned to what is happening for the child in their play, it can help the child process their feelings and experiences. Rather than spending the session talking, we can work to help children resolve issues via play. There are so many different tools, toys, and play activities children can use in play therapy. Sometimes this can be playing with dolls or figurines, using a sand tray, making art, or other types of pretend play. The toys can resemble different themes or aspects of their lives, such as family relationships, safety, power, or interpersonal relationships. Play is a safe space where children can play out scary scenarios or painful experiences or emotions. Sometimes these experiences or issues would be too scary or overwhelming to face outside the therapy room. Through this play, they can process the events and practice resolving issues within the safe space, while also providing a sense of relief. It provides children a developmentally appropriate way to deal with depression, anxiety, and even trauma. Often, play therapy can be directive to help reach specific goals, while often it is very non-directive. When play is non-directive, it gives the child a chance to lead, develop confidence, and increase their sense of agency. Play gets to be organic. It is a chance for them to explore what they would like to in therapy. Many times when I have done play therapy, I will let the child know at the beginning of therapy “this is your play place. You can do anything you would like to. If there is something you can’t do, I will let you know”. After setting boundaries around safety, the children get to just take it from there! Play also helps children let their guard down and just be themselves. Play therapy does four major tasks.
Play therapy is a great way for children to process and resolve the issues they are facing in a safe and developmentally appropriate way. It is a unique take on therapy, reminding us that children have found their own way of communicating without the need for words. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By: Dr. Andrea SeldomridgeI have never liked making mistakes. This was always most prevalent for me in school. When I was in 1st grade, we had a spelling quiz each week. If you got a perfect score, you did not have to retake it. I have been told that most times I did not get a perfect score, I would cry. In 4th grade, I got my first D on an exam. I distinctly remember when my teacher told me and I could not stop crying as I was so frustrated with myself. However, there were other areas of my life that I was more than okay making mistakes in! Specifically, anything sports related. Playing kickball in P.E. class, I rarely kicked the ball far enough. I even remember when other kids would be upset with me that I was not a better teammate. But you know, it did not bother me! I just had fun and placed no pressure on myself to be perfect! I think for a lot of people, we have certain areas in our life in which we are hard on ourselves, whereas in others we can give ourselves more grace. I was always “good” at school, so when I messed up, I had a harder time handling it. Whereas with sports, I was proud of myself if I just got through the game. The only way I became better at handling the fact that I would make mistakes academically was just by making more mistakes. I had to get used to the fact that mistakes happen, even if I thought they should not. Childhood really is a great time for making mistakes! As adults, we at times want to shield kids from the negative results some of their mistakes might lead to. However, making mistakes is fundamental in development and there are some mistakes that might be worth letting them make to reach those developmental milestones. Here are a few reasons why it is important for kids to make mistakes.
Childhood is a great age to practice making mistakes, especially as the consequences of those mistakes often have smaller consequences than maybe some mistakes one could make in adulthood. Allowing your child to make mistakes while being able to receive your feedback and support can increase their self-confidence to try again. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By: Dr. Andrea SeldomridgeI usually associate risk taking with bungee jumping or skydiving. Those are both “risks” I doubt I will ever take, no matter how many times my friends say “it’s so worth it”. While I am not a fan of heights, I do think I have taken risks in other ways. I think about the times when I have moved to a new city by myself. There were risks that I would not make friends and risks that I would regret having moved. However, I was willing to take those jumps because I knew I could find a way to handle it. As an adult, it feels easier to tell myself to take a risk. I can gauge if the risk is too big or if it might be just big enough by the amount of risks I have taken in life so far. Children can benefit from taking risks too. There are definitely times that a risk is too big (like the time I tried to jump into the pool without my floaties “like the big kids”). However, appropriate risk taking can actually be really helpful in their development. Below I have shared some of the benefits of allowing kids to take risks.
While your child might not be begging to go bungee jumping, I would encourage you to consider what appropriate risks they could take that can help them continue to increase their self-confidence. By doing so, it can help increase their sense of agency as they move towards adulthood. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By: Dr. Andrea SeldomridgeWhen I think of anxiety as an adult, I think of stressful thoughts, racing hearts, sweaty palms, and being preoccupied with whatever I’m anxious about. As adults, we’ve had years to learn to improve our ability to identify what emotion we’re feeling. When you can identify it, it makes it a lot easier to navigate how to cope. Sometimes just being able to identify an emotion is relieving in itself. For kids however, it can be harder for them to identify and communicate what emotion they are feeling. It can be even more difficult because some emotions, like anxiety, can look like anything but anxiety! Below I have listed some ways of what anxiety can look like in kids that might differ from adults.
While this isn’t an exhaustive list, these are some of the most common ways anxiety shows up in kids. If your child is experiencing any of the above, it might be helpful to check in with them on their stress levels and just remind them that you are there for them to be a listening ear. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By: Andrea Seldomridge Wondering if your child is at risk of hurting themselves can feel incredibly scary. Sometimes it is hard to know if your child’s depressed mood is another part of being a child or teen, or if it is a sign of something more urgent. Maybe you are concerned that your child is feeling suicidal or they might have already communicated that they are indeed having suicidal thoughts. It can be hard to know how to keep your child safe when it comes it suicide or how to even broach the topic. If you are wondering if your child is experiencing suicidal thoughts or are concerned that their depression is something more than depression, here are some ways you can address suicidal ideation as a parent.
If you are ever concerned for the safety of your child, seek out professional help. This can look like seeking out therapy for your child or calling the Access and Crisis line (1-888-724-7240). If your child is at immediate risk, call 911 or go to your local emergency room. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By Dr. Andrea Seldomridge Being a teen can be difficult to say the least. While it is a time of self-exploration, figuring out who you are and what you value, it is also a time when it becomes especially easy to compare yourself to others. A teen might not make the sports team or pass that difficult class, or may start to compare how they look to their peers. Most teens end up struggling with low self-esteem at some point. It can feel painful as a parent to see your child doubt themselves, but thankfully there are a few things parents can do to help their teen gain confidence in themselves.
Gaining self-esteem is a gradual process. Listening to your teen, reflecting their feelings, and being there for them are some of the best ways to help them increase their self-confidence. At Thrive, we take a positive, client centered approach to therapy that is focused on creating a genuine connection with our clients. If you would like to talk with a Thrive Therapist about yourself, your child, or teen attending therapy via video sessions, please reach out to us by phone at 858-342-1304. As always, thanks for reading and comments are always welcome regarding any issues around child or teen psychotherapy services in San Diego by Thrive Therapy Studio. To stay in the loop on the services offered and to receive updated information about Thrive, please feel free to sign up for the newsletter through the following link: http://eepurl.com/dsgLNL.  By: Dr. Andrea SeldomridgeLoneliness is something we all experience at one time or another. For myself, I often associate loneliness with when I’ve moved to a new city by myself away from friends, or when I’ve ended a stage in my life, like graduating, and missed the sense of community that I once had. Sometimes it can feel hopeless that you’ll feel deeper connections with others and find people to confide in like you have in the past, or that you’ll be able to develop a new relationship altogether. Sometimes people feel especially lonely at the end of a relationship, or maybe after a fall out with a friend. Other times, people can feel lonely even when in a crowd of people they love. Loneliness can be caused by a whole variety of situations! Overcoming loneliness can feel difficult to do, and that’s okay too. Below I’ve listed some ways that can be helpful in coping with loneliness.
All in all, know that you are not alone in feeling lonely. Hopefully one or two of these ways can help make experiencing loneliness a bit less difficult and help you feel more connected to others. Dr. Seldomridge is now accepting new clients! |
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Thrive Therapy Studio Therapists Offer Child, Teen, Adult, Marriage and Family Psychotherapy Counseling Services in San Diego, California.
