Biggest lessons of parenting a toddler during the pandemic

As I mentioned in past blogs, time has been an interesting element in my life since the pandemic began. In so many ways, time has slowed down. I should mention that prior to March, despite often encouraging families not to be overscheduled themselves, my family was pretty overscheduled. I would often tote my toddler to a playdate and then the children’s museum all before our mid-day nap. I think I was often afflicted with a feeling of restlessness of sitting still and just being. Despite my history as a play therapist, I struggled to just play at home and let Luca enjoy our time together there. I loved a good, overscheduled weekend.

Time is much different for us now. Now that we have been living this life for about 6 months, I have found that there are still certainly many challenges… I mean, I don’t need the volume of plans I had before but I would love an occasional playdate or night out with my husband! In addition to the challenges, there have also been some real learning opportunities for me at least. Since I share so much of my parenting journey in this blog, I thought it would be helpful to share these thoughts too!

1. Those of us living with families we actually like spending time with are pretty darn privileged – This is a big one for me. I have come to recognize that my life is so very blessed and filled with privilege. We have spent so much more time talking about all of our blessings and the things that are going well lately (for us personally, not the world of course since things are so dire right now). This has been a good shift for us as a family to focus on our blessings that have helped us get through this situation.
2. We don’t need to micromanage our son so much – As much as I have tried so hard not to over parent my son, I think I was definitely micromanaging and trying to always be SO present with him that it was a bit much before. I have learned that it is okay to relax a bit more and while I try so hard to be fully present for him, when we were deep in things while he was home with us all the time, I also had to realize that being totally present for a tiny human 24 hours a day is unrealistic and that it is okay not to be able to do that.
3. Some screen time is okay – we were definitely one of those very strict screen time families before all this started. Luca had barely ever even seen a movie! That just was not possible during quarantine with all of us home and being in a dual working family. So, we relaxed the rules and while we try to keep some limits on it now, I’m generally much more flexible and okay with our son having some screen time especially if it helps our life run a bit more smoothly.
4. Having a son who slept really well from 6 months to 3 years is a gift (especially now that this time seems to have ended) – Since our son recently made the transition to a toddler bed, I have never been more retroactively grateful for all the times that he slept relatively peacefully and easily. We were so lucky to have the time we had, especially now that we are in a whole new territory with him struggling to sleep in his room!
5. Never, ever get too confident as a parent – This one is possibly the most important one of all and directly follows our thoughts about sleep! I truly thought that we might have missed the whole, testing limits and climbing out of the crib phase. I thought we might have the magic child who just stays in there until we, the parents, were ready to make a big transition. Well, I totally was wrong and have learned what I feel is the ultimate parenting less – don’t ever think something won’t happen to you because it most likely will in some way or another!
6. What I truly miss is connecting with my family, friends, and colleagues – While this might go without being said, this situation has helped my family re-evaluate our values as a family and how we spend our time. The thing I miss the most about our life is being able to freely spend time with friends and family. I think this is a great realization so that we can re-organize our time a bit more in the future too!

I hope this might help some of you who are also wading through the pandemic parenting part of our lives! My biggest goal is to always let parents know that they are not alone. We are truly all in this together and now more than ever, I believe we are all doing the best we can and that we are incredibly human and will make mistakes along the way. That’s okay. We can get through this one moment at a time!

And of course, if you or your loved ones are in need of support, we are now accepting new clients throughout California via telehealth at Thrive!