10 Activities to Build Attachment

When our children are babies, we play with them by cooing, bouncing them on our knees, or playing peek-a-boo. These interactions help babies gain trust, security, and joy, as they learn to connect with their caregivers. But when life moves forward and our children grow older, it’s easy for us to get caught up by the stress of work, financial difficulties, illnesses, or any of life’s challenges that we forget to maintain our connection with them. And of course, your child might want to play with you when you least feel like playing with them! Attachment play is a wonderful resource for building a connection, and only 20-30 minutes of playtime a day could help you restore your connection with your child. Research studies have supported the effectiveness of attachment activities in helping children with emotional and behavioral problems—though attachment play can benefit everyone.

It is never too late to engage your children in this type of play. A major advantage of attachment-based play is that it does not require any special toys or materials. You can use what you already have at home (pillows, dolls, and even cotton balls!). You can also play with your child anywhere and anytime, whether it is on the playground or in your car. And if you have more children in your home, you can involve them too!

Here are some attachment activities I recommend to strengthen your connection to your child (these work best with children 3 and up!)

1. Painting faces – No, not real paint (unless you want to!). Use baby lotion or baby powder (or even pretend) and paint each other’s faces. This activity also helps with their fine motor skills.
2. Build a tunnel – Two caregivers form a tunnel with their arms then have your child/children crawl through the tunnel as fast as they can before it collapses. Give them a big hug when the bridge collapses!
3. Play catch – Rolling a ball back and forth may be easier for little ones. This also teaches them reciprocity!
4. Snack time – You can use cheerios, baby cereal, or m&m’s to feed your child with your hand. Maybe even throw in some airplanes or ABC’s with each one you pop in their mouth.
5. Weather forecast – This works for older children as well. Have your child face away from you while you give them a weather forecast by drawing the sun, sky, clouds, wind, etc. on their back.
6. Cotton ball – Use a regular cotton ball and a dab of lotion to stick the cotton ball anywhere on your face or your child’s face. Take turns trying to blow the cotton ball off. Or maybe even continue sticking the cotton ball to your faces and see how long it’ll take for it to fall off!
7. Pillow ride – Be ready for a wild ride! Have your child sit on a big pillow as you drag them around the room. Only move when they make eye contact with you.
8. Popping bubbles – Blow bubbles in front of your child and help them pop the bubbles with their hands, fingers, or even toes (or nose!). Help them practice their listening skills by giving instructions like “Pop it with your pinky” or “Use your nose”.
9. Blanket swing – Place your child in a blanket, hold on to one end, and have another adult hold the other end to give the child a gentle swing while singing your favorite tunes.
10. Slippery arms – Have your child face you, put lotion on your hands and grab their arms. It’ll be so slippery sometimes you’ll fall backwards. They’ll get a good laugh out of this one!

Set aside dedicated time to try these attachment-building activities with your child and see the different ways they can interact with you. At Thrive Therapy Studio, I help parents connect with their children through attachment-based play therapy by using a variety of interactive activities in session. Whether you would like to restore your connection with your child, build a connection between siblings, or just increase your knowledge on the therapeutic benefits of attachment play, I’m here to help!